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Saturday 27th January 2007

So my day got off to a crappy start, as my post arrived and I had a letter informing me that I had been caught speeding on the M4 on my way to the DVD record last week. Apparently I had been doing 69 miles an hour in a 50 mile limit. I had no idea about this and must have failed to notice the change in limits. It seemed doubly unlikely as it supposedly happened close to the toll and I remember thinking that I must be careful as I entered Wales, as the only points I have accrued in the past were picked up in this fine country.
So how this happened I have no idea, but it's not like I can complain too much. I have gotten away with it in the past - no letter came through from this occasion and I regularly break the law in this area (and also I steal from pick n mix at service stations), so I am going to get caught out occasionally. But given I hadn't spotted this camera or speed limit at all it meant that I was going a long way over the limit and so I started panicking about whether I might get more than 3 points or even be banned from driving. This would be such a disaster for me that it doesn't bear thinking about.
But I did think about it though and it cast a gloom over the rest of my day, even though I eventually decided I was unlikely to be that severely punished. Six points though would put me only three points away from a ban. Which would mean being very careful for the next eight or nine months whilst I wait for the intial three points to be stricken from my record.
It's going to be hard. Even tonight as I drove to Brighton, a bit late for my gig I found myself breaking the limit again and a couple of times came close to not spotting a speed camera. I think I managed to get away with it. But with a national tour coming up it's going to be a nerve wracking few months.
Don't break the law, kids is clearly the message of all this. I have disregard for all laws, but I am a comedian and thus the rules of society do not apply to me. Though annoyingly society still seems able to fine and penalise me.

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