4502/17421
The smiles I get from my daughter at 5am are becoming bigger and cuter. She seems to particularly enjoy seeing me at this time of the day. I don’t know if that’s because she thinks it’s funny to be waking me up when I’ve gone to bed at 2 after a gig. But it’s heart-melting stuff that compensates for the sleep deprivation. I still can’t quite believe any of this is real or this (generally) cheerful little homunculus is a part of my life for good now, but I am loving it so much and feeling slightly foolish for not having done this whole thing earlier. But then again, as any fans of Sliding Doors or science will know that if I’d done this earlier then this particular baby would never have existed (actually scratch that - in the Sliding Doors Universe I am pretty sure you'd have the same baby regardless of timing or the sperm that got through). There might be another one (or maybe more) who I’d love just as much. But given they never existed they are easier to let go of. I am glad I ended up with Phoebe and at a time of my life when I was totally ready to give my life to her.
This way I’ve ended up being able to live the life of a superior single person and a superior dad. Now I am on this side of the force-field (that you can only cross through one way) I think that being a dad is best. But I would say that. Maybe ideally I would have made the switch a little earlier. I hope to one day cross into the alternate universe where that happened to see what my non-existent children would have been like and how their existence would have impacted on the world.
Off to Cambridge tonight, where I had sold all but 13 tickets in the end (I did do a sold out preview in the same theatre which probably impacted a bit on sales - this one usually easily sells out). Luca is back at the wheel and I was very glad that he was as I was properly exhausted and the traffic out of London was terrible (I’d forgotten that it was Friday, but we’d still left at 3). We took a break to buy some dinner at the services and even then we were delayed as three helicopters were heading into the services ahead of us. You’d think that they wouldn’t bother us too much in our car, but they were on the back of three massive lorries, with some further vans behind warning of an abnormal load ahead. You’d think if you had three helicopters that you might avoid the Friday night exodus from the capital by flying them where they needed to go. They could even have carried the lorries on wires and got them to the destination too.
I was using the time to write my Metro article and yesterday’s blog and to try and prep the show recordings for the next Lord of the Dance Settee podcast. I had hoped to get one of those out this week, but all the stuff I need to get done is overwhelming me. Will I ever get the chance to write something substantial again? Will the choice be between carrying on with all my silly blogs and podcasts and doing a project that I get paid for? Some parents told me that I’d never be able to keep up with the blogging, but actually that’s the easiest thing to do and I managed to keep it up through both times of ludicrous hard work and deadlines and the days when I was lethargic and depressed. There’s lots to write about and some of this stuff might be useful if I ever want to write a book or show about being an old dad. Which I probably won't. But the blog pays for itself in the end. Will I read it all back in my dotage? If so, hello old Rich, hope you had a good life. This bit was sort of fun, right?
I did feel tired on stage tonight, but had some fun with the Cambridge crowd, saying I had a 2:1 in History from the best University in the world. I asked a man in the audience to ask me any question from history. He seemed stumped and then said, "What will happen in the future?" Which was not only the only thing I couldn't tell him with my degree, but also clearly demonstrated the intellectual superiority of Oxford over Cambridge. They don't even know what history is. The idiots.
I’ve designed another beautiful and one-off, hand-drawn T-shirt for the winner of this month’s monthly subscriber monthly draw. It’s got an International Women’s Day theme and will be just one of the prizes given to March’s randomly selected winner. Still time to enter. You get one entry (every month) for every pound a month that you’re donating, plus a badge, access to a secret channel of extras and the warm satisfaction of knowing that you’re helping to fund future internet comedy and hopefully a return of AIOTM. Go to
Gofasterstripe to join the rollercoaster and give yourself a chance of owning a T shirt that could make you literally tens of pounds on eBay. Also
check out their sale.
