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Having a baby leads to some slightly surreal situations. Today I was in a cinema at 10.30am watching The Avengers: Age of Ultron with my wife, daughter and mother-in-law. The fantastic Electric Cinema in Portobello Road (a plush old cinema with velvet seats and even the option of watching from a bed) has special baby-friendly screenings on Monday mornings so that new parents can bring their spawn along without fear of upsetting customers without babies who don’t like it when babies cry and chatter through the film. I quite enjoyed the chorus of odd noises coming from behind us. Phoebe, who is the best baby ever, behaved throughout the film, sleeping most of the time, but watching a bit of the film, which must have been a bit confusing for her - it was for me.
We are certainly game for taking her to the cinema on a normal screening as I think she’d probably be quiet throughout, but at least with this service you don’t have to nip out of the cinema if things turn ballistic. Plus the films are sub-titled, which I’d quite like to happen anyway, as it’s often hard to hear today’s mumbling actors (it’s nothing to do with me getting old and losing my hearing). I think I was the only dad there- it wasn’t exactly packed out, but this is a great way to have a morning out with the family and keep up with the latest cinema releases. So thanks to
the Electric Cinema for this service. It's worth having a baby just so you can do this. I don't think they'll allow you in without one. And it’s also worth going to this cinema just to see the pre-film sketch about the cinema filled with an unbelievable amount of famous stars. I presume they all got free cinema tickets in return.
After the film we walked home, stopping for lunch on the way. I was dating three generations of one family (and it was my own family, but then I am from Somerset) on a Monday morning. The world has turned upside down. But maybe everyone should do this. I mean who gets anything done on Monday morning anyway? Let’s all go out on dates and then back to work in the afternoon.
I popped into Holland and Barratt to pick up some breakfast nuts. There was no one at the counter, but I was prepared to wait. They were probably just away from the till for a few seconds. But a man arrived behind me who was not so patient, "Hello, service please," he shouted abruptly and angrily. It seemed a bit too much after a wait of literally one second. The shop assistant came quickly from the back of the shop, but she hadn't seen who had made the minor ruckus. She apologised to me for keeping me waiting, which seemed to me probably meant that she thought I'd been the rude one. And yet to say, "That wasn't me being a prick" seemed a bit over-defensive and also the man who was being a prick was stood right behind me. I was placed in an awfully British conundrum and as has happened so many times before I avoided confrontation simply by being as polite as I could be (in the hope that that would make her realise I was innocent) but otherwise allowed myself to take the blame for a crime I didn't commit.
But she asked me if I had a Holland and Barratt loyalty card and those kind of things slighty annoy me and I was maybe a bit short in telling her that I did not and I could see here thinking that it was definitely me that was the prick. And perhaps I am a prick. But the first prickish crime had not been my fault.
As I left I saw the real prick sidling up to the counter all smiles and sunshine and I was sure that they were about to share a conversation or just a meaningful look as to how impolite I was. I knew that the real prick would be getting off on having magically transferred his own prickishness to someone else. What if he used it as an opportunity to sympathise with the lady and then maybe ask her out for a coffee and one thing led to another and they got married, all because they'd bonded over what a prick I was. But all the time it had been him who was the prick. And she'd be married to him and it'd be too late. Should I go back into the shop and shout, "No, don't share that meaningful look with him. It's him who is the prick. Do not, I repeat, do not marry him under any circumstances." On balance I decided it was probably best to let it go. But what had I condemned this nice and innocent woman to by my silence?
I am hoping to start back on the road to proper work this week, but my time was taken up by looking into a new newsletter system (which can include pictures and attachments - I am really entering the first decade of the 21st century) and trying to work out the terms of a proposed kickstarter for filming the next series of RHLSTP. It’s pretty expensive to produce these shows and if we use the badge money to do it then we'll never be able to do anything else. The audio can continue whatever as it doesn’t cost very much to sort out, but we need to pay camera operators and producers and editors for the video. So if we are going to continue with that we will need some help. Maybe it’s not something that people want that much so then we’ll just carry on in audio only, but I’ve thought of some nice bonuses for people who want to donate.
I think I am right that most badge subscribers would prefer we saved their money for AIOTM (which we might be able to start filming monthly from early 2016 at this rate) and I really want to be able to offer everything I do for free for those who can’t or won’t pay. My guess is that we won’t be filming the next series of RHLSTP, but the ball will be in your court. I will let you know when the whole thing is ready.
A new gig has been added to the tour (apparently I had agreed to it in March, but not remembered). I will be back in Bridport on 11th June.
Book here.Thanks to Mike Stoner who noticed that the numbering system of these blogs had gone seriously awry. The fact that no one else noticed suggests he is the only one reading this, so as gratitude
I will post a link to his website for him (and only him it seems) to read. As I understand it he is genuinely magic as his ability to spot wrong numbers would attest to.
