Days Without Alcohol - 89.
Another packed day with an early start, given it was a late night after my disappointing gig. I headed out to buy some newspapers as Andrew Collings was going to arrive imminently to record our 6th podcast.
There is an empty house on my street as the man who lived there died
a few months ago. He was a bit of a loner and his house was already a bit of a state, but I think he may have lain undiscovered for a little while after his death as well. In any case the windows of the house have been left open for whatever reason and I was wondering if squatters might try and break in, but then again if it was as smelly and unpleasant as I imagined then possibly they wouldn't want to.
I saw that there was a grey haired man standing on the short pathway at the front apparently looking at the house. He was facing the building and I wondered if he was assessing it for purchase or burglary. But as I got closer I saw that he was doing neither. He was in fact urinating rather openly into the tiny patch of gravel in front of the house. Looking at him closer it was clear he was a vagrant, but even so I was surprised by his choice of urinal. It wasn't that the pathway afforded him any more cover than he would have had in the street. There may be a low wall on the property but he wasn't even behind it. Next door has a high bush around it's miniscule front yard (probably less than a yard in width) which he could have hidden behind if he was concerned about public decency. I realised he wasn't interested in hiding his excretions and had clearly chosen to go into this house because he knew it was standing empty, possibly even aware that the occupant was dead, so coulnd't complain. But this made it seem even more disrespectful. Pissing in the gutter would have seemed a less insulting option. He would have been equally open to public scrutiny and yet would not have been desecrating private property. His openess and lack of concern seemeed to be saying "Ah come on, he's dead, what does it matter?" In fact his defiant stance seemed to be suggesting that he was actually displaying reverence, as if to say "I could have pissed through the letter box or one of the open windows, but out of respect for the dead I am just weeing outside the house."
It is an odd sight to see a man making water in the street in broad daylight, though of course many use the darker parts of my road as a urinal once the pubs have kicked out (that's normal - it's OK to piss al fresco if you have a bladder full of beer and it's dark, but even if you have the excuse of drinking 9 o'clock in the morning means you have to find a more discrete place to piddle).
It made me laugh to see this brazen tramp, weeing if not on the grave, then on the death bed of a fellow human being. It's what makes the Bush so marvellous. At least the last
shitting tramp I saw did his business in the dark and on the public pavement.
I ended up talking about the incident on the podcast, so do
have a listen if you want to get my actual reaction within minutes of the incident. We really seem to be finding our feet on this now and I can't tell you how exciting it was to come home after a rather better gig tonight to find we were 17th in the main chart and 13th in teh comedy one. Thanks for subscribing. You have made two old men with very empty (and in one case wheat-free) lives, very happy. I think we can go top ten! I might have to have a drink if that happens!
