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Wednesday 29th January 2003

The Battersea Arts Centre audience looked like they were going to be difficult. For the first couple of minutes they seemed reluctant to laugh, unsure of what they were going to get. I felt maybe some of the crowd had prejudged the show, had almost come to have their expectations confirmed. It’s going to be laddish and misogynist. Of course I can’t be sure they were thinking that, I’m not a mind reader. Maybe they were just cold. But that’s how it felt.
My early “lazy lesbians” joke got a big laugh, but also a couple of loud tuts, which seemed to confirm my fears.(“I have to apologise, the show’s changing every day, so I will be reading some of the stuff off these bits of card. But I went to see the Vagina Monologues the other day and they’re still reading it off bits of card after seven years! Lazy Lesbians”) When I wrote the show I had initially feared that people might be offended by that line. I hadn’t intended to do it in the proper show, it was just a way of excusing the fact that I still hadn’t learnt some bits, but people really liked it and I think also understood where the joke was coming from, so I kept it in.
Things warmed up very quickly, but I feel some people were still a bit unsure about which way the show was going. In the penis envy bit, where I ask the men in the audience who is to blame for the penis’s bad reputation (given that it was once so loved) and start to imply that maybe women are responsible. Tonight the voice of a female European (I think she was French) said “Zat’s right. Ze women are always to blame.” I did an impression of her accent and said “Yep, either women or foreigners, one of the two.” But again, the audience were suspicious of my motives.
What’s nice about that bit of the show is that I turn that implication on its head and then clearly state that penis envy is a ridiculous concept and that the way men feel about themselves and their penises has nothing to do with women.
From then on in I felt the resistance was gone. The worried members of the audience relaxed as they realised I wasn’t out for a war between the sexes or their genitals and it was a really good gig.
I’m on there again next week. Do come along and tut if you want!

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