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I have never really taken to wearing glasses, struggling through with blurry text and increasing the font size on my computer instead, but I thought I’d give them another go and went for an eye test today. Having felt a bit conned by the staff at Boots (where they made me pay over the odds for loads of things I didn’t really need) and unimpressed by the shoddiness of my glasses from Specsavers (who I also have more personal reasons to avoid), I gave John Lewis a go, impressed by their high charge for an eye test (though the optician did ask me if I had a voucher so I might have missed a trick and it didn’t matter as they took off the cost of the test if you bought glasses).
I had been a bit unsure on my previous tests whether certain lenses made things better or worse, but this was a sophisticated set up that not only made things like that much easier, but also could show you a computer model of your eye and gave a thorough scan for disease and abnormality (this is very important). The surprise was that my long sight is no longer totally solid - my right eye was noticeably more blurry than the left (this is the one I once flicked rock and dirt into when stone-clearing, but that’s probably a coincidence), but luckily my left eye is good enough to balance things up so as long as I remember to keep it open then I shouldn’t need glasses all the time.
Well not yet.
I am slowly sliding into decline. My body was never meant to last this long, let’s face it.
I picked out a couple of frames with the assistance of a very patient and helpful member of staff and should get my new glasses soon. I am not wearing my old glasses as I write this. It’s a bit blurry for me. Hope it’s OK for you.
I kicked around the shops a bit (I’d travelled into London) and was surprised to be charged for a paper bag in Boots - surely the charge is only for plastic? That was made worse when the paper bag fell apart when I was looking round the Apple store, scattering my many tubes of haemorrhoid cream and erectile dysfunction tables all over the floor (not really, I had some Berocca and kids bubble bath, but that’s not as funny). A nice man at the Apple Store gave me a free bag and told me I should go back to Boots and claim my 7p back. Instead I am going to reiterate that you shouldn’t use their opticians. If I can just convince one of you to go elsewhere then I have more than got my money back. Take that Ian Boots. Please advertise on my podcast.
I had a brief meeting about plans for this year’s International “When’s International Men’s Day?” Day which I think will be my last, but we’re planning to go out with a bang.
That sounds like a threat now I read it back. But it isn’t. Just trying to raise more money for Refuge!
A very funny RHLSTP with the comedian and actor Dave Johns
On video here
on audio here
