8085/21016
That fucking Doomsday Clock is back. Why do they even have that thing? It's such a risk. What if someone takes their eye of it and it hits midnight. Boom! It's all over. Dismantle the Doomsday Clock and keep us all safe.
89 seconds from midnight guys. Someone takes their eye of it for a minute and a half and a bird lands on the starter. It's all over.
It is, in any case, a fucked up clock. Who decided that they would only have a quarter of a clock for starters? Even Countdown has the whole thing, even though it never uses the left hand side. Make the Doomsday Clock complete. What if Doomsday is more than 3 hours away, what do you do then? And if you're working in seconds why use an analogue clock? Digital will surely be better. Otherwise we have to try and work out from the non-numbered segments (and kudos to the person whose tweet I can't find who pointed out they have also put four dots between 9 and 12, which really makes their time keeping confusing). Also as the world inevitably gets closer to destruction it will be much more exciting to see the seconds ticking down, before someone comes and dismantles the clock with 2 seconds to go and saves us all.
And I hope someone somewhere will be playing the Countdown theme as the world comes to an end, so we get the jaunty closing phrase as a marker of the end of humanity. Those final couple of bars are a fitting epitaph for us all.
I fucking hate the guys who decide how many metaphorical seconds away from Doomsday we are. I bet whoever came up with 89 seconds felt really pleased with himself (yes it was a man). I sort of hope Doomsday comes right now, just to prove them wrong. Ha, you fucking idiots, we were at one second to midnight all the time. Why are you trying to work this out? Get a proper job.
I had my hair cut by a heavily pregnant woman today. It's not something I requested, you understand, it just happened to be the case. There was a bit of small talk of course, but I decided not to bring up the fact that she was going to have a baby. I think if I was about to have a baby I'd get fed up with everyone talking about it all the time (which they definitely would if I was going to have a baby) so we talked about other stuff, like how she'd performed in an am dram competition where she'd done a John Finnemore play. But all along I wondered if it was actually rude to talk to a heavily pregnant woman and not mention her pregnancy.
Was this going to be like when I saw someone who had collapsed outside of the church in the centre of Hitchin, who had four people attending to him. I knew that I could be of no assistance and I thought it that was me I wouldn't want everyone to be stopping and asking what was going on. It was all in hand, so I went past saying nothing. Later I saw someone tweeting about the incident saying the only person who passed by without expressing concern was so-called "comedian" Richard Herring. So apparently it would have been better to butt in, distract people who were helping out and embarrass the poor man who had fainted.
I doubted that I was the only one, by the way. Maybe the only one who the person recognised. But why was the tweeter looking to see who commented and who didn't, rather than helping the distressed man? Sounds like they were the prick to me.
Was I going to see a tweet about Richard Herring coming into the hairdressers and not even asking about a pregnancy? I doubted it as my hairdresser clearly had no idea who I was.
I blew it in the end because as I was getting my coat and bag I wished her luck with her upcoming adventure, which was not only a stupid way to describe having a kid, but also meant I hadn't even stuck to my guns. The hairdresser looked disappointed with me. I had nearly impressed her by treating her as a person and not an incubator.
I continue to disappoint Hitchin.
