They just can't keep me off the telly/radio this week. Like a poor version of a Craig David song I have been on Dave on Tuesday, BBC2 on Wednesday, Radio 4 on Thursday, Channel 5 on Friday, 6Music on Saturday, probably have a wank on Sunday. It's a bit too much even for me. When I see myself in the mirror I am thinking, "Oh not him again!"
This morning I was promoting the new DVD, so headed down to Whiteley's shopping centre to appear on "The Wright Stuff" - there's a TV studio at the top, you must know it, it's where they filmed "Heads Up With Richard Herring".
The Wright Stuff is a strange and enjoyable gig. It's a bit like an interactive tabloid newspaper which I am allowed to argue with. So when it asks whether all murders are the same and should be punished by life imprisonment, unlike the actual Daily Mail, I am allowed to say no, there are clearly different gradations of murder and we should probably leave it to the courts to decide what punishment is dealt out. Or when a man on the phone claims that a child's personality is entirely down to the way it is brought up and all four of his children have been brought up properly and know how to behave, I can counter by saying that if personality is all down to nurture then all his kids must therefore have the exact same personality. Perhaps I am pissing in the wind, but I quite enjoy the battle, just as I quite enjoy engaging with the trolls on the internet and the people who email me to tell me what a prick I am.
I enjoy the challenge anyway as well as the fact that I am perhaps a little bit outside of my comfort zone. And underneath it all I do like this programme - without it I wouldn't have the Carol Thatcher/golliwog segment in the Hitler Moustache show. Perhaps as a younger man I would have been less keen to appear on something like this - I somewhat reluctantly first did it in about 2003 and then not again for several years - but it's good practice for a comedian to put myself in unusual and tricky situations. I am unconvinced about how much difference these things make for PR purposes and I don't get paid for this one. I remember seeing Spike Milligan on Blankety Blank, which wasn't his natural home, but which he managed to turn into his own show (if memory serves right he subverted the game by answering "Women" in most if not all of the blanks). Perhaps he did it for the cash, perhaps he did it to get out of the house, perhaps because it was the only TV he was allowed on by that point in his career or perhaps he did if for the subversive fun or just to see what would happen.
I am not trying to claim that I think me going on the Wright stuff is comparable, but it has given me at least one great story over the last couple of years and I've enjoyed sticking my oar in. Today I made a mild slip when I pointed out that 3 year olds could not be called bullies, because they are naturally selfish and boisterous, adding "all children are little dicks." Had I been on the BBC I would have had to issue an immediate apology for my terrible language, but although time stood still for a second and there was a muted response from the crowd of oddballs who come to see this show live in the studio, nothing happened. I did say sorry to Matthew as I left, but he clearly didn't care and felt that such a minor swearword was not worth apologising for, arguing it could just mean Richards. He is a much more liberal man than you might presume and I like him a lot, even if, seemingly a few of you on Twitter disagree. He's very supportive of the anti-racism, pro-democracy message of Hitler Moustache (that I have now been on to discuss with him 3 times) and had some interesting views on the English Defence League.
So anyway, I enjoyed myself, even if the early start somewhat screwed up my day. By the evening when I was meant to be going out to a party I was so tired that I was forced to go to bed for an early night instead, which made me feel like a dull old man. Which maybe I am.
Anyway talking of interesting emails from strangers here's one that came regarding yesterday's St George's Flag episode of Objective. I think the man in question possibly didn't listen to the show, which was much more supportive of the concept of Englishness than he seems to realise. I haven't heard the edited version of the show, but certainly on the night I made the point that it was wrong to associate the English flag with racists or hooligans and called on us all to celebrate Englishness, but because I did not exactly match the stringent desires of this correspondent (or maybe he just heard what the show was about and made his own assumptions) he was still furious -
"Mr Herring,
Regarding your radio programme 'Reclaiming the St George's flag', which I think is the 3rd in the series...
Tell me, when will you be doing a programme on the Union Flag? That's the flag which is used on the logo of the BNP. And doesn't the 'B' stand for 'British'? The Union Flag, (also known as the butcher's apron) that's the flag which is habitually used at BNP and National Front demos. Also, will you be doing reclaiming programmes on the Scottish Saltire, Ulster Red Hand and the Welsh Dragon flags? All those flags have been used by extremist groups in their own countries.
You say the flag of St George is associated with the far right and with football hooligans...
The EDL use the flag of St George, but they also use the Union Flag - and the Scottish and Welsh equivalents (WDL & SDL) use their own national flags also. And since the Hillsborough tradgedy in 1989, there has been a sea change in the behaviour of football fans. Incidents of English football hooliganism since 1996 have been as rare as hens teeth."
In the show the flag expert revealed that the St George's flag was not used at football matches until the European championships of that year. So the programme backed him up on this point, not that he noticed. He went on
"The planning of Trafalgar Square was a BRITISH initiative, not an English one. It's a celebration of the BRITISH Empire - rather than an English one. And true, St George was not English - but St Andrew wasn't Scottish and St Patrick wasn't Irish - so what's your point?"
I think my point in the show was that it was good that England had embraced so many things from around the world.
"BTW, Mel Gibson, the Braveheart actor you refer to is not Australian, he was born in the USA." This is a bit of redundant point. He moved to Australia when he was 12, and so can easily be classified as Australian, but in any case the point I was making was that he was not Scottish, so it wouldn't make much difference even if he was seen as American.
"And what's with conflating English Nationalism with racists then? I am an English Nationalist - I want an English Parliament, and an English First Minister. I want NATIONAL DEMOCRACY to return to this country, so that we can make our own decisions, just like every other country in the democratic world - which in HerringWorld I guess makes me a racist does it?...How outrageous, an Englishman demanding national democracy!"
Not at all. I think I said that I think an English parliament is a retrogressive step - I'd prefer to see a World government if that was possible, but if anything the show was pointing out that being English and proud of that does not make you racist.
"Your programme really was objectionable... It was stereotypical, bigoted, lazy - and ignorant..... and worst of all, it wasn't very funny.
Oh, and the reason why the English find it so hard to celebrate is because the BRITISH government will not let it happen. We aren't even allowed our own national anthem for God's sake. They realise that if the English got their parliament, then it would make the Westminster gravy train utterly irrelevant.... Turkeys don't vote for Christmas...
S G,
Non racist English Nationalist,
Lancashire,
England."
Ah well, you can't please everyone.
