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Had really planned to get fitter in November, but a lingering cold has now been joined by a painful lower back, which was particularly unpleasant in the early hours of this morning. I want to get back out running, but I think I will have to wait.
My back woke me up nice and early though, which was good as for the second weekend in a row I was appearing on a Channel 4 live cookery show. This one was an extended advert for Waitrose and was hosted by Steve Jones and Lisa “Breakfast Biscuits” Snowden. More excitingly/perturbingly my fellow guest was Sharon Corr from off of the Corrs, who had been the subject of one of t
he more unsavoury sketches on TMWRNJ. Last time I met someone who had been the subject of my perverted shrine based love I had ended up dating her for 18 months. So even though Andrea Corr had been the real focus of my late 90s mock/real stalker attention I feared that the power of the shrine would be strong enough to work its magic again. And when I say feared, I obviously mean hoped. I may be about to have a child with the woman I love, but if one of the Corrs informs you that you have to leave your family to be with them for a short while then you have to go. Unless it’s the Mancorr.
The character of Richard Herring had been rude about Sharon Corr’s attractiveness, very unfairly it has to be said. But that might make things awkward if she was aware of the sketch. But let’s face it, if Julia Sawalha had never been told about her shrine, the chances were pretty low.
I had a lot more fun on this show than I had on Sunday Brunch and for some reason was a lot more with it. Plus this show was only an hour long so there was less chance of being caught in an unguarded moment of boredom. The chef Nick Nairn was lots of fun and cooked up some amazing food, most notably some venison which was slightly odd to be eating at 9.45am and I had to watch Steve Jones putting his dog in a tiny toy tank, which made me wonder if I was still asleep. When they interviewed Sharon they brought up the Corr Shrine and asked me which my favourite member of the Corrs was, which was a potentially difficult situation, but I managed to deflect it by saying I liked them all except the Man Corr who would spoil my “enjoyment”. Off air I told them about the Julia Sawalha shrine and the strange conclusion to that and Sharon joked that it would be fine if the same thing happened again. Which to be honest, I will take as a victory. Weirdly people seem flattered about the whole shrine idea. Generally, I think, when they haven’t seen what it involved. But as long as I was married to Sharon before she saw it then there would be little I could do. And I could then use my position in the Corr family to meet and seduce Andrea. Nothing can possibly go wrong. Unless the Mancorr was using all of this as an excuse to lure me into his Richard Herring well. I think I’d better reluctantly stay in the marriage that I have.
Tonight we went out with our friend Lisa and her family. She has three young girls, the newest of which is only 8 weeks old and is the calmest and best behaved baby I have ever seen. I am praying that ours will be like this one and if not, I might just swap them the next time we meet up (all babies look the same right?) We ate pizza and I had the baby sitting on my lap for a good ten minutes. It felt rather lovely I have to say, but still it’s not sinking on that we’ll have our own one of these in about two months (and time still seems to be moving so slowly). The other girls were equally charming and a great advert for having children. Lisa does not let having kids hold her back from doing stuff. We went to the cinema afterwards and all of their lot were perfectly behaved. Other kids in the cinema were less so. The best one was one who kept saying, “Mummy, help!” in quite a plaintive voice. It was unclear what the emergency was. We watched Paddington, which I found a bit childish. But miles better than I had been expecting of it. It’s a lovely little film and Rasputin is in it. Well Justin Edwards who played Rasputin in my play. But that’s close enough.
