Warming Up is intended to be a humourous web page and not always to be taken too seriously, but occasionally it can offend. And due to the nature of the internet the things that can offend have often happened some time ago and only just been discovered by the person who has now become offended by the past and now tells you about it. It's like a telephone that can be used through the ages.
So I was upset this morning to receive this email, which in fairness I think I must quote in full, as many of you may have read the offending entries and believed them and be suffering from a delusion that must be rectified.
Here's the email:
"Dear Richard
I was just doing some research on the internet with regards to our hotel in Weston super Mare and was
horrified to find out your comments about your stay.
The thing that does disturb me is your interpretation of aparthotel linking it to apartheid as it has
nothing to do with segregation at all - it is just the words apartment and hotel linked together.
Unfortunately your comments come up to infer that we are racially prejudiced and this is not so.
Please remove these comments or else I shall deem it as slander. We trade with alot of international companies and if your comments are detrimental to our
business I will seek legal help.
Please reword your comments to not misled your readers into thinking we are prejudiced.
Francesc from Timbertop"
This confusion relates back to some comments I made when I was staying at Timbertop in May last year -
the entries start here and last for the following three days". I was making what I thought was a silly joke about a childish and deliberate misunderstanding of the hotel's name. Apparently Francesc though does not find the remarks funny and I suppose if you came across them out of context and didn't know the nature of this site then you might be concerned.
I had a great stay at this hotel and everyone was so lovely that it is a terrible shame to have inadvertently upset any of them. So I have added this extra comment at the bottom of all the pages concerned, which I hope is enough to appease the litigious Francesc.-
“I have been asked by Timbertop Aparthotel to make it clear that the name of their business has nothing to do with segregation at all- it is just the word apartment and hotel joined together. I realise that this is probably apparent to most of you and that my comments are intended as a stupid joke, but Timbertop get a lot of international clientele who might not appreciate my pathetic humour, so I want to make it clear that the Timbertop Aparthotel does not segregate people by race or attractiveness. It is a charming hotel with a friendly staff and it does a great breakfast. If you are every unlucky enough to be forced to spend any time in Weston-Super-Mare then I would heartily recommend this hotel. Staying there is in my opinion the most pleasurable thing you can do in this unusual seaside town.”
Of course as a result I will probably get WSM town council threatening to sue me for defaming them. Let them try I say. I don't think there's a jury in the land who would not concur with my assessment of the mud beached estuary-side town.
I am loathe to actually start hacking away at the existing text and I hope my grovelling and yet slightly sarcastic apology will appease the hotel management, although I would be interested to see what the courts would award them for their complaint. I think they'd have to find someone who had taken the entry seriously and had cancelled a booking, but maybe I am wrong. But it would be a shame for anyone to do that, as there's nowhere better to stay in Weston(in my opinion - don't start sueing me other WSM hotels) than Timbertops. In fact why don't we have a Warming Up fan convention on roughly the anniversary of my visit on the weekend of the 13th May. If you love Warming Up and would like to meet other fans of it, then book yourself a room for the weekend. Meet in the bar on Saturday at midday and then have a Richard Herring themed weekend with maybe a trip to Cheddar Caves on the Sunday. If enough of you book in for this weekend then this will surely offset any of the many thousands of pounds of business that my previous thoughtlessness will have lost them. Remember on booking to let them know what race you are so that you can be placed in the right house. I am joking. This is a joke. Timbertop has no segregation policy. I can't say that enough.
Enjoy the Richard Herring weekend. I will not be turning up. But I really think you should do it. In an ideal world only one person will do so.
