The journey from my hotel bed to Naples airport was relatively painless and easy. We were dropping off our bags within 45 minutes of waking up and passed quickly through security (though a young man in front of me was not so lucky, having put his skin condition powder in too big a tub, meaning he had to go back and put it in a smaller tub) and then more or less having to head straight for the gate. I wrote another Metro column on the plane (nearly writing one about how amazing it was to be writing a column thousands of feet above the ground, but instead deciding to tell the story of how I got lost in Buckingham Palace).
We were met at the airport by a friendly driver who whisked us up the mountain and down again to Maiori where we're staying for the next 13 nights. I was very glad not to have plumped for a hire car as I watched him negotiate the twists and turns and passing lorries and dustcarts. He pointed out Vesuvius and I made a mental note to prepare myself for its eruption and make sure that I was engulfed by ash whilst holding an amusing pose to baffle future archaeologists. If only the residents of Pompeii had had such foresight. They could have twerked or flicked the Vs or (my own favourite) put their heads between their legs and kissed their arse goodbye.
Our hotel is high on the cliff above the sea and is accessed by a lift that looks like a cross between a cable car and some perilous theme park ride. If they had any sense of humour they would make it drop at a great speed just as visitors approached the top for the first time. We sat and had a drink at the bar, looking down on a sunlit bay, the sea as still as a lake, with impressive cliffs all around. This'll do.
I would have been happy to sit on one of the vertiginous balconies for the next fortnight and today, we didn't go back down to ground level, but there are loads of things I want to see around here and for once, after a Fringe, I am not exhausted or ill and have the desire to do some proper touristy things (as well as sitting by a pool, reading and drinking beer). Admittedly after one beer I started snoozing and snoring on my sun bed. But it's my holiday and I can do what I like.