I am already exhausted. Despite largely eating well and exercising and not drinking too much (oh all right, I got quite drunk last night) the Fringe is already taking its toll and it hasn't even officially started yet.
I should have done some work on my show today. I had got through the unwritten sections last night on sheer adrenaline and though I think there is something good about going on with an idea and seeing how it runs, it's also important to prepare certain bits. Such as the very end of the show.
Inevitably tonight's performance was not quite as good as last night's, though it was still perfectly acceptable. Best of all I had managed to sell out, which is very encouraging. There will be a dip tomorrow as the tickets are full price, but getting audiences at this stage really takes the pressure off. It may have taken 20 years, but it seems that I am reaching the point where people are coming to see me based on my previous work, rather than on word of mouth or reviews. Of course there's no guarantee that the trend will continue, but it's a great start. And once I have ironed out the few kinks and worked on the bits that don't have enough jokes in them yet I think this will be a really excellent show. I just have to work out how much I can reveal about myself and how far the honesty can go. I slightly threw myself tonight by going into a serious reflection about the last time I fell in love, which had no jokes in it. I am not sure it was the right thing to do, but I became a little shaky for a moment and forgot what I was meant to say next. I am not sure how appropriate that kind of revelation is in a comedy show, but it was interesting to try it. And it's good to be using Edinburgh to experiment rather than coming up with some honed thing that I've been working on for months. Whether the critics will see it like that is another matter - but as I am not reading them and people are coming anyway, that might not matter. It would be a shame though, if, as usual, they don't take into account the fact that the show is a work in progress.
Pathetic isn't it? Even when I am trying to avoid them, I still get wrapped up in all that crap. The important thing is I know what I am doing is good and I also know the bits that need some work. But it's been interesting how quickly most of it has come together and I like the fact that the stuff is a bit different every night and that there are good ad-libbed moments that never appear again.
I have been trying to start by coming on and ripping down party decorations declaring my age, but at the moment it's not really working. Maybe it's too fussy and I should just get on with things. I'll tell you what I will work this out myself rather than discussing it with you. But if you want to see the raw version of this show then do come quickly. And please do book ahead if you want to come to the show in the coming weeks. It's selling much faster than last year and I can't guarantee there will be tickets on the day. There probably will be for this Saturday though!
So I should probably go and work on the end of my show, so it isn't just a crappy, babbling mess of ideas.
I am so tired. I am too old for this.
