Due to some kind of emergency work in our street we had no electricity in our house from about 9.30am until 5pm. Which makes one realise how reliant we are on electrical power (even the gas appliances generally need an electric spark- or a match- to work). I had to have a cold shower, which on a snowy day like today was no fun and
Collings and Herrin podcast 142 was in danger of running out of juice and being truncated earlier than usual. It was lucky that I was awake before it all happened and had no urgent appointment as my alarm clock went off as well. And what if I had had someone in my house on a life support machine? The workmen didn't knock on our door to warn us of the impending return to the dark ages. I hope I don't survive the Apocalypse because I will be useless in a world without energy.
I was also impressed to discover that scientists have
reversed the aging process in mice. As always it seems foolish that science has concentrated on the mouse market with this problem. Very few mice have the kind of money to pay for treatment, although they can perhaps pay by foraging for cheese. Ha ha, I am funny.
I am just getting to the point where I could do with reversing the aging process as my body starts to wear itself out, but I am pretty certain that by the time those lazy, mice-obsessed scientists have worked out how to safely reverse aging in humans I will be too old or dead. My younger readers will probably get to stay looking 20 for the rest of their lives, whilst my generation and I will be the last shunned breed of wrinkly grey-haired, lily-livered humans. Typical that I am going to die just before eternal life is invented. I can only hope that some horrible virus or nuclear war takes the rest of you limber fuckers down. I will be chuckling through toothless gums at your demise.
It would of course be a terrible world if no one got old and none of us died. Which is why only I should be allowed to have it. It's only really any good if they can also rejuvenate the brain because otherwise we will have lots of senile, but youthful looking people wandering around. At least now people can see my grey hair and wrinkled face and assume that I am probably starting to lose it (I almost tried to wash my hands with some toothpaste today, being momentarily confused by the pump action dispenser and mistaking it for soap) and adjust accordingly. And maybe it's good to have earned the battle scars that life deals out, if you get accorded appropriate respect (not necessarily very likely). And are the annoyances of old age really all down to physical decline? Would we continue to feel and act young just because we looked young or would we still tire of that lifestyle. I was at a party tonight and felt pretty much unable to cope with being in the crowded room, trying to make myself heard over the background noise, unable to hear anything anyone said. If I looked young would that all be enjoyable again (having said that, not sure I ever really enjoyed any of that) or would I still be as weary of it and wanting to be at home watching telly? If so would it be worth the effort to look and feel young if I was just staying in?
Like I say, these probably won't be issues for me. But maybe if you're in your 20s, you might get to make some interesting choices, probably only if you have disposable income though. The poor and those born before 1980 will probably be marked out in the brave new world we are heading for.
Instead of concentrating on this interesting topic on the podcast, Collings' juvenile attitude meant we talked mainly about erections instead. I wish he'd grow up. We then headed into town to do another podcast with Robin Ince and Josie Long, for their Utter Shambles. Don't know when that will be put on the internet, but maybe before Christmas.
Last few hopes and dreams now. The project is now closed.
M G "I don't want much out of life, but by 2012 I hope to be doing a job where I make a difference and to be a mum. Here's hoping!"
A M "To realise that I don't have an endless supply of money and it's ok to say no to fun things.
To have the guts to try doing at least one short stand up set.
To stop smoking and to try to radically cut down on the booze."
H C "I have just started a masters in children's social work so I would like to finish that with some sanity left
I have not long started driving lessons as well at age 28 and its really hard but I want to pass my test so that I can drive to Ikea and buy crap, Swedish fish sweets and reindeer pasta. I also want to drive to monkey forest in Trentham.
Lastly, I got married 3 months ago and by November 2012, I would like to have a big old pregnant belly full of growing baby. "
M N "In 2 years time I would like to be in control of my thoughts, no
longer always looking at things in a negative way. By doing this I
hope to once again be doing a job I enjoy and not just working to pay
the bills."
G B "My goal to achieve by 2012 is to see more live stuff, be it music, comedy, theatre etc...
I spend far too much time plonked in front of my telly, scouring the shops for DVDs and combing YouTube for clips of the most recent stand-up shows that have been ingratiatingly bootlegged against all that is fair. I've begun by booking tickets for Christ On A Bike in Cardiff, Vegetable Stew in Cardiff the day later, Jeff Wayne's War Of The Words stage show (which I've seen before) and Matilda The Musical. "
J P "I aim to have travelled! I have never left Europe and at the age of 27 itâs about time I go and see some things with my own eyeballs. This aim will be easily achieved as I have already booked a plane ticket India for the 24th January and the plan is to fly on to Cambodia from which point I will use only land based transport to get home. When I eventually return I aim to leave my monotonous office job in Basingstoke and move to London with my lovely girlfriend. Glamorous as âAmazingstokeâ is I really need to find myself a career and this is not the place to be finding it. I have a criminology degree which I have neglected to put to good use and it would be great to find some kind of ethical work that would fit in with this. If not I want to have worked on a real life actual proper film â one with some people off the tv and everything. Once all this is done (or more likely during) I hope to take my relationship to the next level (whatever this might mean). After reading some of the other aims on the blog I feel lucky to have someone to share all these dreams with."
C M "By nov 2012, I would like to have stopped just starting writing projects..and actually finish something. So whether its the unfinished novel, the three unfinished first eps of sitcoms, the unfinished childrenâs book, the unfinished film script. Its funny how scary the prospect of finishing something is, because that means you have to share it, and invite criticism and judgement..and maybe thatâs why I donât finish them. But even if its just for myself. Iâm going to do it."
L R "By the 25th of November 2012 I aim â above all â to be a published illustrator. I also want to be out of my brother's house by then and to be off living on my own somewhere, anywhere!"
G L "By November 25 2012:
1) Either be happy in my marriage or have separated and be living on my own
2) Finally release an album, after almost superhuman levels of procrastination (I'll be 40 next year)
3) Have a crack at stand up. Because I've always wanted to, and I'd just like to know.
4) Have a crack at writing a book. Because (see 3)
5) Successfully evade capture (one day at a time) and find another hiding place for the bodies as this one's starting to hum a bit"
M D ""In two years I would like to be married to Emma Kennedy. Bit of a long shot, I've never even met her, but you never know. Perhaps I could win her in a card game.""
Ah, be careful what you wish for. And there seems no more terrible and impossible dream to end on. Thanks for all of those - they are fascinating. I will be chasing you up in two years time, and part of me thinks that I might even try to pay some or all of you a visit to see how you are doing. As some of you have observed it might make an interesting show or book. But I think it might be nice just to have it as a little secret thing for us. And whatever happens I will want to find out how you've all done. Not all of us are going to succeed, but if any of us do then I think that's now an achievement that we can all share in. We are all part of the Warming Up Unrealitic Idiots (WUUI) now. Personally I have done nothing in the last five days to make my aim bear fruit. We'll see how we go.
