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Friday 30th November 2018

5846/18866

STONE CLEARERS- don’t know what the weather was like where you are, but the ground in Hertfordshire today was the perfect level of dampness v firmness. You can just kick the stones out of the ground. Get out there. We can get hundreds out in these conditions.]
Also I found an amazing Perp (perpendicular stone) that looked regular on the surface but was long and went deep. I love Perps (slightly different than the bergs which show tiny bit above ground and the vast majority is beneath surface).
It was a great start to the day. Kick out the stones when the ground be damp for thou shalt be gladdened of it when the ground be hoary with frost.
Am I doing anything but looking after my children at the moment? Not really to be honest, but that’s cool with me. They were a delight all morning and I didn’t even feel wiped out when my in-laws arrived to take over.
We have found a much better system for containing Ernie, so that he doesn’t have to be constantly chased. The Jumperoo is no longer practical, as he just cries if you put him in it and he’s able to get out, so that has made the possibly final (for us) journey into the garage. Every day is the end of an era.
But Ernie went in the travel cot as I made gingerbread men and biscuits with Phoebe, which I enjoyed probably more than her. Cooking continues to seem like magic to me. I love ginger biscuits more than anything on this planet (except ginger beer and ginger Emma Wiggle), but have been shelling out tens of pence for them in shops and cafes, when you can just make them yourself for tens of pence (but less tens of pence). The gingerbread magnates are laughing up their sleeves at us, charging £2 for a gingerbread man, when we can just make about 20 of them for that money. They must be making over £100 a DAY with this brilliant scam.
But now I know that ginger biscuits are actually just made of flour, sugar, bicarbonate of soda, syrup, butter and an egg. There is another secret ingredient to make them gingery. But I am not going to give away that secret or you’d be able to join me and all the gingerbread magnates and make £100 a DAY.
The discovery of how to make ginger biscuits has changed my life, saved me millions of pounds and unfortunately taken years off my life as I am now going to exist on a diet of homemade biscuits. But I don’t care. I am over 50 now, and things are starting to hurt and I realise there is no point in living a long time unless you also don’t age.
Also I am going to see if I can create an army of living gingerbread men by adding human semen to the next batch. Though for that to work I might have to replace the hen egg with a human egg. But it’s got to be worth a try.
Ours were very nice though and gamete free. They weren’t quite gingery enough for me thought, so next time I will add more powdered ging… secret ingredient.
But I don’t know how cooks were not viewed as the kings of the universe with their ability to turn ingredients into food. Even when everything was in the bowl I was thinking, this load of powder can’t make ginger biscuits.


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