A friend of mine had chosen me to be godfather to his daughter and to be honest I can't think of a better person to set her an example of Christian living and to encourage her to follow Christ and fight evil. I will of course be taking my duties very seriously. I have already been godfather to my nephew Andrew, who is nearly 20 now and who is probably the most religious and ethical person I know. That is down to me shouting "Believe in Jesus!" at him every time I saw him. I think that's the most you can hope for.
So this morning I stood in a church in Ealing, lying to God in his own house. I had to reject Satan and all rebellion against God. I don't mind rejecting Satan - he is a dick, though one surely has to admire him a little bit for daring to try and overthrow an all powerful deity. He was bound to fail and bound to be punished and who can't admire that kind of chutzpah.
But I still think Satan should be rejected, because he's really evil and bad and quite nasty-minded. But to add the thing about all rebellion against God seemed a bit weird to me. And you know what if God has a bit of a turn and ends up doing really bad stuff, like sending lightening down to blow up kittens, then I don't want to have promised to never rebel against Him, ever.
Or what if I discover that whilst apparently friendly and cool, God turns out to be wearing a human suit and underneath He is a lizard who has come to earth in order to eat us all, like in the documentary V. Then surely I should take part in the resistance.
The fact that the Church brings up the idea of rebellion suggests there is some reason to rebel. It's the kind of thing that Saddam Hussein or Stalin might make people say.
Anyway even though I mainly agreed with that one, I had to lie about the others, like submitting myself to Christ and repenting my sins - I am quite proud of most of my sins. I mainly only regret the times I resisted sin.
But I am prepared to keep up the lie and do my godfatherly duties to my goddaughter, which if my own godparents are anything to go by is to pretty much do nothing at all or never come and see me and certainly not ever tell me anything about Jesus. I don't even know who my godparents are, though I think one of them might have occasionally sent me a book token when I was about five (with no instruction not to buy a book about Satan being great - eg Paradise Lost by John Milton).
But I like my goddaughter: she is a feisty and inquisitive girl (she's about 15 months old now - I really should try and find out when her birthday is, surely that's the least I can do, you know so the book token arrives on the right day when I remember to send it) and she screamed every time I tried to hold her, so has a good understanding of what good and evil might be already. She also cried when the holy water went on her face, which suggests she is either evil, or at least sensible enough to know that a man in a dress chucking water on you is a bit weird!
I think I will be the best Godfather ever.
