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Wednesday 30th April 2008

I thought my bright yellow jacket would be enough to protect me in the rain this morning, as I cycled up to Ladbroke Grove for a meeting with my evil manager, Jon Thoday. Rain though is cleverer than that. The jacket as you can see here is not very long and does not cover my head, so my face and legs got pretty wet. Also I had forgotten that rain can assault you after it has fallen and is seemingly impotent. It lies in puddles with its fallen comrades and then waits for a car to drive through it, or even for some idiot on a bicycle to not spot the pool of water and just blithely ride through it and then splash! Your socks and feet are dripping wet. God damn you rain, with your devious ways.
It still felt good though. I was powering through the inclement weather, enjoying the cooling spray on my face, if not the dirty splosh dripping off my short, but increasingly tree trunk legs. If my legs weren't white I think they might get mistaken for the frog like legs of Dwayne Chambers or a frog. Or if you are one of those people who doesn't see skin colour then you might actually mistake them for the frog like legs of Dwayne Chambers or a frog. But you should get that condition looked into. Distinguishing colours is an important skill. Especially if you are a racist.
Or if you hate frogs.
Or both if you are racist against the French.
Even though I had to sit through the meeting with damp socks I am glad I cycled there. Cycling is good. All of us should do it.
And just carry spare socks with us.
And get waterproof trousers.
After all if we're wearing yellow fluorescent jackets it doesn't really matter how stupid how frog legs look. Whatever colour they are underneath. I feel a new ebony and ivory song coming along:
Black people's legs and white people's legs,
Look equally stupid in yellow waterproof trousers.
So if we're the same on the outside of our trousers,
does it matter that we're different inside our trousers?
We all look stupid in yellow.
Apart from possibly the Chinese, for whom it complements their skin colour, if you accept that their skin is yellow, which is debatable.

Yep, I think I'll release that. Christmas number one.


Thanks so much to everyone who has already donated to the The Headmaster's Son Programme Fund. As always I am blown away by your generosity. If you want to donate then you have until 11.59pm on 31st May. So far top donation and in line for the T-shirt prize is James Maybridge with £100. No offence to the very generous James, but that seems beatable to me. But please donate whatever you can afford, each donation means so much to me, however much you give. Though obviously the richer people get their names in bigger writing in the programme. It's only fair.

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