Incredibly we're already on the
20th Collings and Herrin Podcast - we're getting close to a whole day's worth of inane and improvised banter. Collings insisted on this being called a relaunch, but absolutely nothing is different. But if it makes him happy, then that makes me happy. He is, after all, one day going to be the mother of my bum baby.
We have been told that an estimated 15,000 people are downloading the show every week and I came up with the idea of them showing their gratitude for this free service and us showing the power of our army of fans (not quite the child army of old Radio 1 Lee and Herring days - you've all grown up now) by asking everyone listening to buy Andrew Collings'
latest book. Andrew didn't know I was going to do this and was as I expected embarrassed by the gesture. But that was really the point. This is revenge for him deliberately missing out my name from his list of mentors and I hope people will take up my crusade to shame the Andrew Ridgley/Mr Bean/Zippy/woolly liberal and send his book to the top of the charts. If you all buy it this week then it will get in the top 10 and confound publishers and book sellers alike, who will then order in millions more books of this popular smash, which no one will buy, because you are all only buying it this week. Of course my plan might backfire and other people might want to buy this surprise smash book on the back of its success. But hopefully not. Hopefully it will only be a smash for one week and then hubris will bring down the publisher, the bookshops and Collings himself. All the happiness he had given me by listing me in his original book, has been stamped into the dirt by the omission in the new version and he must be made to pay. By becoming a millionaire author, but being unable to enjoy his success because his namby pamby conscience will always remind him of what the cause of his wealth had been. It will drive him mad and even though he will be able to afford to buy all the oatmilk that he wants, it will just taste sour to him. Unless it tastes sour already, which I imagine it does, in which case it will taste like regular milk and that will be just as annoying.
He will regret the day he crossed me.
Especially given I will have access to our child and so he'll have to see me all the time. And I will complain about how I can't afford first class travel for my baby, because of his meanness.
Anyway the hour passed and we did our usual stream of consciousness, me mainly forgetting that what I was saying would be going out into the world and be heard by others. But there's no point in pulling our punches, (though I did a bit when talking of homosexuality and Muslims, hoping to save myself from a Fatwah, that Collings just brought down on us anyway).
Buy Collings book. Do it now. Don't delay!
Also Go Faster Stripe have brought out another DVD - this time from the amazing
Wil Hodgson. I think you'll really like it, so if you have any money left after splurging out on a thousand Andrew Collings books, then buy that too.
This evening I finally caught a full set from the Aussie comic
Steve Hughes, who I had heard great things about. Rightly so as it turned out. He is incredible: twisted, rude, slightly unhinged, but lyrical, insightful and political. Although some of his views might slightly counter his arguments that drugs have no psychological effects on users, it was terrific to hear someone talking intelligently and passionately about stuff, even if sometimes, for me, it veered off into slightly hippy territory. His punchline, "She now lives in a clay house," had me laughing solidly for about two minutes. You have to see him, just to find out why that line is so brilliant. I don't think he's doing Edinburgh this year, but if you see him on a bill anywhere then make a point of going to see him. I don't quite know how it's taken me so long, except for the fact that comics who headline gigs are the ones I see the least, because I am generally headlining too.
Anything else? Don't think so.
Buy Andrew Collings' book.
