After a triumphant return to Andrew Collings' Radio show (though he seemed to think that me talking about the lesbian antics of fruit flies might be sailing too close to the wind. I feel if anyone finds such a discussion to be pornographic then that is their problem and they should seek help), I headed up to Regent's Park to visit the "Green Fair and Bike Fest". It had everything for my green/bicycling needs. It's like a mini Glastonbury without all the inconveniences of the crowds, security issues or loud music. And more bikes.
I liked it.
I don't have a bike any more,
not since my last one was unfortunately stolen. Though it's not like I can claim I used that one very much after an initial burst of enthusiasm. I have been thinking of getting a new one though. And as I discovered at one of the stalls, if I get one in the next week, I then I can take place in the
World Naked Bike Ride, which would make up for the disappointment of
having to run through Pamplona in my pants. Though I am a bit worried about the dangers of cycling naked. I mentioned this to Diane, saying, "What if something were to dangle down and get caught in the spokes?"
She gave me a withering look which wordlessly communicated the response, "There's not much danger of that!"
We had a fun afternoon, looking round the stalls and eating overpriced vegetarian food and drinking overpriced organic beer. It is good to see people making money out of the good intentions of others. We passed a tarot card stall and Diane wanted me to have a go, but maybe mindful of the curse of the Italian gypsy woman I was not all that keen. Then I realised that it might make a good thing to write about for Warming Up, which would get me off the hook of struggling to think of something to tell you all about when I came to write it, which would be good as I have a lot of work on this week and can't afford to waste time wracking my brain to come up with some hilarious insights about some banal thing that had happened to me.
But when I went up to ask for an appointment the man told me the tarot woman (his mum as it turned out) was booked up for the next hour and a half. If only I had had my tarot cards read before I might have known about this delay and gone up to request an appointment earlier.
I was given a card and the tarot reader makes home visits, so there is still a chance that this might be a warming up of the future. If you are psychic could you email me and tell me whether it is going to happen or not, because if it isn't, I won't bother ringing her up.
"What if I get my tarot done and open up a portal for evil spirits who will blight my life?" I asked Diane.
"Then at least you will know that evil exists," she replied. Which is a good point. Then I could take some precautionary measures, like starting to believe in God and stuff. It would actually be quite good to have the tip off, even if it was inconvenient to be haunted by the damned.
