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Saturday 6th December 2008

Shepherd's Bush Grey has gone all Christmasy. There's a fair and a temporary ice rink on the Grey itself. Last night at a gig in Bush Hall Chris Addison joked that it was the only yellow ice rink in the world; the tramps' urine had frozen over and the people of Shepherd's Bush decided it would be a shame to waste it.
The streets are also thronging with people heading to the Westfield shopping centre. Is Shepherd's Bush in danger of becoming trendy and popular? It's very doubtful. It's seamy underside still remains and amongst all the hustle and bustle I was amazed to see a man sitting on a stool on the pavement, with a tiny table or upturned box in front of him, challenging people to play a version of the game/well known scam Find the Lady. I am sure you are probably aware of it, but in essence Three-card Monte as it is otherwise known involves hiding a card or a bead or whatever under one of three covers (in this case the man was using little black covers that looked like drink coasters) which he shuffles around and invites you to then guess where the card or bead has ended up. Basically you'll be asked to bet on your ability to follow your card as it is moved around in front of you and if you successfully point it out afterwards you double your cash. Except that it's a well known con and the man will have used sleight of hand to trick you. He may also employ a friend to win, so that you, the idiot mark, think that it's possible to be victorious. Surely there isn't anyone in the world who doesn't know this is a trick? It should be on the national curriculum - day one, lesson one. If anyone asks you to play a version of this game at any time, then don't do it. You will lose your money.
There was no one playing with him when I went by, slightly astonished I must admit by how blatantly he was going about it, although there were crowds around him he was hardly in a very private place, but I guess he had friends looking out for the cops.
I hoped that no one in Shepherd's Bush was stupid enough to be taken in by this age old scam. But a few paces on I saw an excited and trendy looking young man explaining the game to his girlfriend (the basic version of how it is supposed to work, rather than the con version) and merrily claiming that it was more than possible to defeat the idiot man who had set the game up - "You'd be surprised at how many people actually win!" he told her. She was impressed and cooed along with his story, perhaps thinking that she'd have a go on the way back from the Westfield. So I was immediately proven wrong - there are people out there who don't know about this scam.
I wondered if possibly the man who was explaining it to his girlfriend might have been in on the con. He had been working up to this for months, pretending to be in love with her, courting her, taking her out for dinner, making love with her, gaining her confidence, all so at this point on a December evening he could persuade her to take part in an unwinnable game and make twenty quid off her, which he'd only have to split with the guy with the cards and the two look-outs. A tasty five pounds each, tax free!
Even con artists are feeling the pinch of the credit crunch and have to invest a lot in order to win their ill-gotten gains.
But spread the word to any thick friends you have - that game is not winnable. Do not take part. You are being conned.
But as a man who went to the casino the other night and who used to regularly play on fruit machines, maybe I'm not the one to preach about being gullible.

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