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Wednesday 6th February 2019

5912/18932

I RTed a post by @IamHappyToast who said what a lot of people were saying re the Donald Tusk comment about Brexshitters who didn’t have a plan having a special place in Hell: 
"Upset Leave MPs, get your revenge and prove Tusk wrong by simply posting your original detailed referendum plans online to show how you aren't all charlatans without a fucking clue, driving an entire country to destruction in the hope of profiting from the hell you create.

I got a reply from someone who’d read this and it took me about five minutes to work out if it was satire or not, but I think not. He said

Sure, the plan was always to leave on WTO standards and then re-negotiate our deal from the strong position of our huge Deficit. Dont blame Brexiters that the country decided to vote in a remainer PM to purposefully fudge the negotiations. This 'hell' is 100% remainer created.

Of course this is a narrative we can expect to see a lot over the coming months, at least the Remainers being to blame bit. 
I replied
No it wasn’t.  I remember pretty much everyone saying “No one is talking about leaving the customs union (or maybe it was single market)” before the vote. Also the country didn’t vote her in, the Tories did [even they didn’t, she stood unopposed cos none of the Leaveophiles wanted to be the one to implement this impossible plan]. The country nearly voted her out. And she’s totally trying to get brexit too.

And people will argue that May is a Remainer trying to get what she wants by subterfuge, but I really don’t think that’s the case. In fact it’s her enthusiasm for showing that she’ll be behind Leave even though she was once Remain that has led us to this problem. That’s why she invoked Article 50 straight away, rather than wait til a plan was in place and that’s what’s going to lead to disaster for us all. I am sure Leave could have happened without plunging the country into disarray, but that would have taken a bit of time and prep and May was so keen to look like she wasn’t playing for time that she blew the one trump card we had. The referendum never put a time limit on Brexit. And it obviously needed one. A hundred years would have been nice. But even two or three would have been sensible. 
It reminds me of the time we were playing cricket at school in some kind of house competition. One of the teachers had to leave as mis side was batting and I was asked to umpire. Obviously I could have abused that position by pretending my side were never LBW or run out, but to prove how fair I was, when a close run out call came in, I gave our player out. I argued his bat had been above the crease, but in truth I think he was well in. So did everyone else as the other side laughed at the decision whilst mine berated me. But no one could accuse me of favouring my own side. In fact I was so fair that I had unfairly penalised them and myself.
May comes from the same kind of religious middle-class stock as me and in her enthusiasm to seem fair she is going to harm both the thing she believed in and the thing she is being forced to implement. 
And people like that tweeter who replied will invent a narrative to mean that they are not to blame for the shit show. Even though the experts told them all along what would happen.
I understand why people don’t want to listen to experts. I know it’s really annoying when someone is cleverer than you and uses facts to prove it and leaves you feeling dumb (cos it happens to me all the time) So the helpful idea that we shouldn’t have to listen to facts any more, but rely on feelings or just stuff we want to be true. But a country led by its most stupid people is not going to do well.
It always annoyed me that my lack of physical strength and skill meant I would never play football for England, even though I really felt like I’d like to. So hopefully people will stop employing people who are good at football and employ regular people like me who’d really like to score a goal in the world cup final. To be fair, if all the teams went for the same system, that might actually happen. But I suspect the rest of the world will stick to having their best players in their national team. Football experts say that means they will have a better chance of winning. But we know better. 
Unless the referee falls ill and they ask me to step in, because I will then call all our goals offside and give penalties to the opposition for show how fair I am.
But if we fail to win,  it will only be because of the people who doubted that a fat 51 year old man who wasn’t very good at football should be in the national team

We’ve got to RHLSTP episode 200 (plus a few specials) and it’s the return of an old friend and comedy genius, Adam Buxton
Watch here

Or listen here 

And two more opportunities to see RHLSTP on the road
On 2nd June we are coming to Wakefield 

And on 28th June, it’s Warwick Arts Centre 

Book early.

Mark Williams has set up an Alexa skill to play RHLSTP. So use that if you want.


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