I went to Jane from AvalonÂ’s leaving drinks last night (Avalon is my evil management agency, which has the twin aims of promoting comedy and killing third world orphans. We were in the basement of a natty bar, so it wasn't a private do.
I was talking with the comedian Stewart Lee, when a man approached me. He looked a bit familiar and as there were people there who had worked for Avalon over the years, I wasn’t sure if I knew him or not. “Are you Richard Herring?” he asked. I confirmed my identity. It became apparent that I didn’t know him, but that he had seen me on TV. He told me how much he enjoyed my work, and also commented on the fact that I had put on weight (but as with always this observation very much depends on when you last saw me!), but he was a little drunk and I feel I would be hypocritical for chiding him for being both rude and effusive to a comedian he likes, whilst under the influence of alcohol.
Then he asked, “Is it true that you are no longer talking to Stewart Lee?”
I said something along the lines of, “No, that isn’t true. In fact, look there he is.” (in his excitement at seeing me, he had failed to notice Stew was right in front of me) “I was just talking to him a matter of seconds ago. That’s how far from the truth that statement is.” That rather put that rumour to bed, I thought.
The fact was that the only reason I wasn’t currently talking to Stewart Lee was because this man had interrupted our conversation. I didn’t mind - Stewart is very boring, I wish we weren't speaking – I just found it rather satisfying to be able to demonstrate the fallacy of the statement so effectively.
I was joking about Stewart being boring, in case you were feeling like spreading more false gossip. He is anything but that. Next time you see him ask him for his opinion on Coldplay.
