Days Without Alcohol - 99
My holiday begins and despite flying British Airways my flight was on time and my luggage was not lost. But then I was at Gatwick (am I the only one who sings about being "old and fat-wick" every time I am there - it's a reference that many of you will be too young or not comedy obsessive enough to understand).
As I waited for my suitcase at Catania airport, I noticed that a man in a hooded top with a guitar over his shoulder was being asked for his autograph near to me. I looked at him closer to see why he was being approached and realised it was the lead singer of Stewart Lee's favourite band "Coldplay", Chris Martin.
Now as obsessive readers might recall I have
met Mr Martin before, when I played him at Trivial Pursuits and sang "Yellooooow" every time he landed on History. I knew he was in a band, but didn't know much about him, thinking they were a bit of an Indie secret. The next time I saw him at another Al Murray do I said, "Wow, you're doing really well. I saw your CD for sale in Australia!" and Christ Martin, who knew he was doing quite well, modestly acknowledged that this was the case. I hadn't quite grasped that they were one of the world's biggest bands.
I was in two minds about whether I should say hello to Chris Martin here at the airport. I knew him well enough to do so, but didn't want to impose myself. He was with the rest of his band, I assume to do some kind of gig out here, though I would prefer to believe that they are all just such good mates that they go on holiday together. His missus off of Sliding Doors wasn't there, luckily, or I might have been forced to confront her about how much I hated that film (read "It's Not the End of the World" in Downloads for details).
I chose to leave Chris Martin alone, though worried about looking rude and regretted it later as I am sure he would have recognised me, especially after I had reminded him of the Trivial Pursuits match and told him about my desire to sing "Questions of Science, Science and Nature" to him next time. But in a sense I am glad I held back, because I was able to observe what a really terrific man he is.
Firstly, not only was he waiting to collect his own luggage off the carousel, rather than leaving it to some flunky as he swanned off to sit in the jacuzzi in his limo, but he was also very friendly to the fans who recognised him and came for an autograph or photo. One young man was going to take a photo of him, "What's the point if you're not in it?" asked Chris and made him come over to stand with him, while one of his small entourage did the honours with the camera. I imagine that he gets recognised a fair bit and the airport is not the best of places to get spotted, but he was truly lovely about it all. I don't know how the rest of Coldplay felt, because amazingly they have managed to remain so anonymous as to be unrecognisable to anyone. In fact I wasn't quite able to determine who was in the band or not and recognised the drummer only because his picture had been used in a pub quiz that I'd taken part in and he was no standing next to Chris Martin. I couldn't have picked him from an identity parade.
I thought maybe that if I had introduced myself then Chris might have invited me to see their concert (or come and make sandcastles with them if this was just a break) and my holiday might have turned out a lot different, but by the time my suitcase had come he was in his jacuzzi in his limo and it was too late. Still I spend my whole time with massive celebrities in my day to day life, so when I am on holiday it is nice to get a break.
This, for the thick literalists amongst you, is a joke.
I am staying in Syracuse in the South-East of the island and am in the old part of the town (Ortigia) and it's really beautiful. I have to say that it is a massive struggle to resist the lure of a cheeky beer in one of the many bars or a lovely red wine with my pasta of an evening. This was the closest I have come to breaking all year on the alcohol front, but I would be cross with myself if I didn't at least get to 100 days. Maybe in a day or so the lure of the booze in the sun will have dissipated, but if you had me down for 100 days in the alcohol sweepstake (which I am pretty sure that at least one of you did) then I think that's looking like a pretty good bet. We'll see.
And I forgot to say yesterday, the good folks at Go Faster Stripe are now selling some of
my old Edinburgh posters. They are £5 each with all three for £10 and the first 20 people to buy some get a free (smaller) Oh Fuck I'm 40 tour poster. If these prove to be popular enough we will also be selling the new Edinburgh posters too. Don't all rush at once now.
