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It was our fourth wedding anniversary today. And they said it would never last. But somehow my wife still thinks I am worth sticking with (though maybe it’s like when you’re a gambler and you’ve put a lot of money on something, you keep on gambling in an attempt to recoup your losses. We’ve done four years, which is a decent knock and she could walk away with her head held high, but thank goodness she has chosen to stay for now, though she suggested that we do a yearly review from now on and keep the contract flexible. It makes sense.
We’ve now been married for practically half our relationship, which is the hardest thing to get my head round. The courtship seemed long and the marriage seemed short, but I guess that’s better than the other way around. Thank goodness this woman turned up to change my life.
Now if she just lets me have a sex robot we’re set forever.
You see, I don’t know why she puts up with me. But she does. For at least about 60% of the time.
In the morning I played with Phoebe and we watched a bit of CBeebies. I have entered the world of Mr Tumble and Justin, which is a strange and sinister place. You have to see it to believe it really. Justin keeps on saying, ""Mr Tumble is funny. Mr Tumble makes us laugh!†as if we were too stupid to realise that he is Mr Tumble- it’s not even a particularly effective disguise. It comes across as a bit arrogant or maybe like he’s trying to convince himself, but I also wonder if he’s subtly indoctrinating his audience. If he says it enough they will start to believe it and then his future career is assured. A lot of parents told me that their doltish kids don’t even realise Tumble and Justin are the same person. Idiots. I think we can forgive Justin for doubling up just that once. There are so many characters on the show it must be Hell to have to pay for all the other actors.
We had a celebratory lunch with Catie’s family and I got a bit squiffy on champagne and had to have a lie down (only happens when I am with my in-laws, further cementing my lazy, lightweight status) and then Catie and I went out to a restaurant. I had left it a bit late to book and the only available time was 6pm (the same thing had happened on Valentine’s Day so I should have learned), but that actually suits us as parents. You get finished nice and early and can then go to bed and sleep. The problem was that we were still full from lunch and it was hard to face another fancy meal. We both agreed that if we could have chosen a special celebratory anniversary activity in hindsight it would have been to go to bed at 6pm and not have to get up for 24 hours. Instead we drank cocktails and ate more and I felt a bit like Mr Creosote as I forced more food down me. I had a lobster tail burger, which actually had the shell bit of the tail sticking out of it. I wonder if this should be the law for all burgers: the tail of whatever creature the filling comes from must be sticking out of the bun.
It was a weary but lovely meal and though at one point I thought we might be done and dusted in 30 minutes we managed to stay for 90 of the 105 minutes we were allowed to have before the table had to be vacated for the people who’d had the foresight to book longer than a week ago. We were home by 8.15. Now that is a proper parents’ night out.
The Retro video RHLSTP with Robert Llewellyn is now up on youtube (and vimeo and iTunes).
