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I had made it clear to the people who book my tour that I could not gig on April 7th as it’s my wedding anniversary. Of course what I neglected to notice until too late was that I was in Belfast on 6th and there was no realistic way to drive home from that one and be home before dawn.
So instead today I was up at 5am so I could catch the first flight back to Luton airport to spend the afternoon and evening with my wife and the foul sexcremental produce of our unHoly union (we were married in a registry office and any mention of religion was expressly forbidden).
On the plus side I got to be the second person to eat the hotel breakfast and everything was freshly cooked and it was pretty much the most delicious morning repast I’ve ever had in a hotel. I thought the airport would be similarly empty, but of course, thousands of people were heading out on their holidays and there were massive queues both at check in (where I had to go round twice because I had arrived 15 minutes before my flight was open) and security. And yet the business lounge (which I get access to because of my bank account) was really empty. It was probably too early to make the £20 a month I pay for this (and to be fair, quite a lot of other benefits) count and knock back beer and whisky. But I managed a coffee, a muffin, some crisps and a diet coke. Maybe I need to carry a hip flask.
There were, as far as I could see, no minor celebrities on my flight, so I sat back, confident in the knowledge that I was the main picture in the paper if anything went wrong. But sadly the plane landed safely. I jumped in a cab and was home by 11.10am. Not bad for a young ‘un.
What a fun day with my family and friends. We had lunch and then walked round the village and took the kids to see the horses. After a bit of a miserable time away from them all, it was just great to be in their midst again, even when my daughter called me Poo Poo Daddy. She has discovered a new rude word which is “prickleâ€(although she charmingly pronounces it pickle). She is convinced it’s rude because prickles are nasty. So says “Wee wee, poo poo, pickleâ€. It makes me laugh. What an idiot. I know way more swears that that. What a little prickle she is.
When everyone else was in bed my wife of six years and I stayed in and had some food and drank champagne. A lot has happened since 2012 and there are two more of us than when we started this trip. If we double in number every six years then there will be 2048 of us when I am 100. Thank God I didn’t start having kids til relatively late in my life.
