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I took a proper day off with my family and went out for breakfast, lunch, then went to the park and later would go out for tapas and to the cinema with my wife. It’s ridiculous that this felt like a rare and luxurious things to do. Surely all this shit is what life is about. I am hoping that being a dad will mean I do this stuff much more. Too much of my life has been spent inside working as the sun shines outside. But it’s not too late. It’s not too late.
We ended up walking over 10 miles today (I know because my watch told me) and after two beers with dinner I fell asleep at the cinema (though the super dull film “Tomorrowland” had more than a little to do with that - even the Eiffel Tower splitting in two and turning into a rocket ship couldn’t keep me awake - that’s the bit I fell asleep in). But given I exceeded 25000 steps it was a lazy day and I loved lying on the grass in the shade in Chiswick Park with my daughter in the crook of my arm. It’s one of the many local places that I have never been to before. I have seriously wasted my life.
Phoebe was getting grumpy and didn’t seem to want to take a nap at mid-afternoon, but the we passed a waterfall in the grounds. We’ve been using an app on our phones which produces white noise which helps babies sleep (it replicates conditions in the womb apparently). Mountain stream is the one that works best for Phoebe so I suggested we pause by this rapidly falling water and see if it eased her into sleep. It took ten seconds. It’s a long way to come for us to get our baby to sleep but I am totally going to come here next time she’s grouchy.
And she slept for a good long time, as we stopped off for a drink and walked her home, only stirring briefly when some horrible, privileged Chiswick kids thought it would be funny to shout the lyrics to a song from Frozen at us as we passed them. They were probably on their way home from Sunday stage school and over excited and it’s hard to think of a more Chiswick thing to happen - you don’t get mugged here, but blonde-haired 12 year olds will disturb your baby’s nap by shouting songs at you - but we had to face the horrible possibility that by doing our best for our child we might turn her into one of these horrific monsters.
Later as we had our Tapas at the Westfield I was surprised to see the puff-cheeked face of Minister for Justice Michael Gove passing by. I worked with him years ago on “Stab in the Dark” but was not friendly with him and everything he has done since has confirmed to me that I made the right decision there. He was hurriedly walking along with what I presume were his two kids (though you are wise not to assume that a politician won’t be hanging around with other people’s kids), though mercifully for them they looked quite normal and had taken after their mother. They had absolutely no security with them, unless the kids were his bodyguards - I know that politicians like to give cushy jobs to their family but this might be a bit of a risk for all involved. Gove must be one of the most hated politicians in the country and certainly you’d think that someone would at least attempt to punch him on a daily basis. I was so shocked to be presented with this opportunity that I froze and totally failed to smash my beer bottle and run at him and push the broken shards into his neck. It would have had untold repercussions on my life. I’d not get to lie in Chiswick Park with my daughter again for a very long time and I’d probably have to cancel tomorrow’s RHLSTP, but I would have the gratitude of a nation, surely. And I would have also missed Tomorrowland. God I wish I’d had more balls.
It seems so foolishly brazen to send Gove out on his own that I almost suspect that Cameron has done this on purpose. “No Michael, sorry, we’ve had to make cuts and we can’t afford any security detail for you. People like you, you’ll almost certainly be OK."
Just as the people of Eastbourne failed to take their chance with Farage, I missed this opportunity with Gove (and missed many more in the early 90s when I could have wiped him off the face of the earth before he’d committed any of his crimes). As I sit and watch history unfold before my eyes, will I look back on this moment and wish that I had done more? Whatever he does next you can blame me for.
