I am hoping to take it easy for the next couple of days at least, as feeling a bit stressed and strained after a rather full on couple of months.
But at least managed to get my charity money paid in today having bagged up the two pounds, pounds and fifty ps and paying the rest in to the coin counter. Which is probably a sensible way of progressing. I have taken over £12,000 in loose change on this tour so far and with five more gigs to go can hopefully top £13,000. And means that all contributions to the Hitler Moustache programme fund will have topped £25,000, which is the best we've ever done and totally awesome and will make a significant contribution to SCOPE's work. Thanks so much if you have given anything at all to that. And remember
, you can do your bit to make the Christ on a Bike programme even more successful.
By the time I had run my errands I was only just about home in time to welcome radio's Andrew Collings, who was seething with jealousy over both my Sony nominations (in his fantasy world he imagines he has won one of these himself, but we all know he is deluded) and my appearance on HIGNFY.
We recorded our
106th podcast using the new microphone I had bought in Exeter. I am not sure how much difference it made. Next week we might try using my brand new laptop too to see if that improves things further. It nearly led to disaster though because we now had quite a cluttered work space and Andrew accidentally knocked my new laptop off the big cardboard box we place our equipment on. With the reactions of a panther with opposable thumbs I managed to catch the laptop before it smashed into the floor. Which is lucky because if that had happened I would then have had to smash it into Collings' non-Sony award nominated bean-face.
The podcast was a low key affair though we did chance across
the moon cup towards the end, which I am still rather confused and frightened by. But intrigued too. Always intrigued. Just like when all the girls had to go into the hall at middle school to watch a film that none of the boys were allowed to see, I am standing outside, trying to peek through the curtains, but also screwing up my eyes for fear of what I might see. I don't know what the film was about, but back then I was suspicious that all women are actually robots bent on the destruction of mankind.
I don't think that any more of course.
Now I think everyone else is a robot and I am the only real human being. It's a scary world I live in.
Of course everyone says they think things like this, but I know that they are only saying that because they actually are robots and are trying to keep their cover and make me think that such a thought is just normal self-obsessive paranoia. You don't fool me.
But luckily for you robots the moon cup will also act as a great receptacle for gathering leaking oil.
Anyway I was a bit tired and hungover from celebrating all the good news of yesterday and apart from being derisive about Collings' attempts to make jokes (which aren't bad considering he is a robot) I don't really recall what we talked about. So you'll have to listen.
I had to tape HIGNFY because I was going to the premiere of "The Infidel", which I liked well enough and which covered some interesting and brave territory (though found the end a bit of a cop out). We hadn't eaten and the evening was a long one, as everything started late and then there was some stand up and a long interval before the film began and so we didn't hang around for the after party, but went to get a takeaway curry instead.
As we approached home a group of young lads were standing on the pavement and in the road outside a nearby house. They looked like they were up to no good and I was slightly worried that trouble might be afoot, but one of them said "Stop blocking the pavement" to his friends and they stepped aside for us, rather politely.
One of them though noticed my moustache (and unbelievably I don't think they had watched HIGNFY) as he said "Hey Hitler! Hitler!" before adding rather plaintively, "Why did you kill the Jews, Hitler?"
It was rather wittier and more interesting an observation that most of the mild abuse I have suffered over the last few months. It's like he hoped I might provide him with an answer. Or at least feel ashamed of myself.
Funnily enough earlier today I had been thinking how remarkable it was, in my multi-cultural part of town how no one has taken offence at my face furniture and decided to deck me. It could be seen as a confrontational thing to do. But everyone seems to have let it pass.
I watched HIGNFY as I ate my curry and it seemed that both me and Victoria came out of it pretty well. It was a two hour record for a half hour show and loads of great stuff hit the cutting room floor (along with a load of rubbish from me) but most of the better gags, if not the more eloquent flights of fancy made it in and it was good to see me working alongside Merton and how much he seemed to be enjoying the riffing (and to be fair he nearly always managed to top me). Even Hislop seemed to be laughing along despite me comparing him to a Spitting Image puppet as my opening salvo and Victoria's look of disapproval as I suggested the pants in one picture belonged to the husbands of the women on the Space Shuttle and were waiting to be cleaned was very funny too. I had sensed that that joke had got a double laugh on the night, but didn't know why until I saw the show. And Coren's laugh was the bigger one.
Usually there is an extended version of the show on Saturdays but I think golf might have bumped that out of the schedules, which is a pity as there was lots of stuff I would have liked to have seen added in.
From the comments, texts and tweets I received though it seemed that most people felt I had acquitted myself well, but I was more worried about how fat I looked, especially when I turned over to Dave to see me on an 18 month old episode of Buzzcocks about two stone lighter (though the lack of a toothbrush moustache also made me look a lot better).
That and my slight concerns about minor chest pains mean that I am going to be living a lot more healthily for the next few months.
And I will be glad when the moustache is washed downed the sink as well.
Then at least I won't be called to account for genocide.
