For some time I have been convinced the human race is on a downwards trajectory towards self-destruction, but now I am totally sure. It's too late, there is no way back and I am beginning to find myself believing that Al Quaida are on to something and are our only hope. The western world needs to be destroyed for the skae of the rest of the world and Osama Bin Laden is the best bet, even though ultimately his philosophy is wrong and ridiculous.
The thing that has finally confirmed this for me is a bathroom product. It might seem innocuous on the face of it, but I think this particular bathroom product totally sums up why our society and values and all we stand for are wrong.
You may have seen the advert. It's a toilet rim freshener.
Now a regular toilet rim freshener is something that I could just about abide. It's pointless and stupid, but I guess it helps mentally ill people think they are keeping their lavatory as clean as possible.
This new toilet rim freshener (and I can't remember what it's called) is for people who are upset that a freshener only freshens the toilet when the toilet lid is closed. Meaning the bathroom itself doesn't receive that toilet freshening goodness of horrible chemical detergent smell. In any sane society where a person for some reason wanted their entire bathroom to smell of a chemical toilet smell, then they would simply keep the toilet lid up at all times, thus allowing the unpleasant fragrance out. But apparently there are people in the world who both want to keep their toilet lid down when the toilet is not in use, but also want the toilet freshener smell in their whole bathroom and rather than thinking such a person should probably be put on medication or locked up in a loony bin, some toilet rim manufacturer has come up with a solution.
It's a toilet rim freshener with an inside bit that will freshen your toilet and then in a cradle that sits outside the toilet a freshener for your bathroom.
This is surely lunacy even greater than the wasteful razor war that means that more and more cumbersome and dangerous razors are being made with multiple blade (the first blade shaves close, the second closer still.... then surely you don't need the first razor. It is merely needlessly cutting a hair that is about to get cut further down by razor two and doubtless even further by razors three and four).
For fuck's sake. What is wrong with us? That this toilet/bathroom freshener exists and is being advertised on TV and we're just sitting back and letting it continue. We're not going to go and petition our government or call for the institutionalisation of anyone who buys it or threatening to firebomb any supermarket that stocks it. We just let it pass, saying "Oh a new toilet freshener, I might get that," or "well that's not for me, but it's good to have the choice."
What a disgusting waste of resources and time and money. There are people starving in the world for Christ's sake and you're worried because a chemical smell doesn't reach the furthest corner of your bathroom and you're not prepared to lift up your toilet seat to facilitate this pointless desire.
It's a toilet.
It's going to smell of shit.
Get over it.
If it smells of chemicals then no-one is going to be fooled into thinking your shit smells of pine. Don't you get it? The world is being destroyed. We're running out of stuff. We're destroying the environment. And you're not prepared to just lift up your toilet seat for why? In case someone looks inside and realises that it's not a chair, but a WC and then leaps to the conclusion that you and your family must defecate at some point in the day?
Any society that requires this item is a sick society and one that must be destroyed for the good of the rest of the slightly less insane world.
I am sure that the downfall of the Roman and the Mayan and the Atlantan civilisations can be directly linked to unnecessary bathroom products. I am positive that Atlantis sank as a result of toilets being weighted down by such autistic devices causing the streets to be flooded with sewage.
There's no way back for us. Start packing your bags and learning how to survive in a post-Apocolyptic landscape because we are all doomed unless Osama Bin Laden and his glorious henchmen can wipe us out before we start to go even more mad.
Of course now I've told him about this (he googles himself - you can be sure of it) he will probably save his resources and let us do the job ourselves.
Jesus.
