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Sunday 21st April 2024

A very disappointing detectorist session in my in-laws back garden, which was surprisingly free of any metal at all. There weren't even that many screws. We found a bit of bracket in the wooded area and some screws that were visible to the naked eye on the surface just by where a shed had been taken down. I got a couple of promising signals on the metal detector but then the carrot (it's a more directional gadget that looks like the vegetable so could crop up on Twitch of Fun) wouldn't beep at all. I haven't properly read the instruction books for either item so maybe I'm missing something, but in spite of the bit of amphora having come from the bottom of the garden we found no treasure at all. Do I have the patience for this hobby? I am not sure I have the confidence to ask farmers if I can scan their fields in any case. I was taking it quite seriously and Ernie was annoyed and told me I was taking all the fun out of it. His disillusionment with his perfect dad may be beginning. 
Of course in reality I knew there'd be no treasure and that we'd probably only find rusty bits of rubbish, but there's still the hope there, when the detector suddenly hits 90, that you've found the proceeds of a bullion robbery or King Richard III's crown. One day.
It kept us ... and then latterly just me... busy and we interspersed it all with some football which was more exhilarating.
But no millions made so I've got to keep going with this stupid fucking blog that only my family read.

The kids have a bit of a cold. Every time they're ill they want their temperature checked to see if they can get time off school. In my day of course the only way to do that was a thermometer up the anus (if my memory serves me), but now you point a device at their forehead for an immediate and accurate temperature. Plus the display is green if you're OK, yelllow if it's a bit high and red if it's time for a sick day! It's nearly always green and so I have a party trick where I touch the kids' forehead and tell them what their temperature is going to be. As long as their forehead isn't burning I predict somewhere around the 36.6 degree mark and so far have always been within a range of 0.2 degrees. So my kids think I am magic. I wonder how long it will take them to figure it out.

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