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In a never ending effort to provide you with Christmas entertainment that most of you won't like, I returned like a salmon to where I was spawned (if you accept that most of the human body regenerates every seven years), to take Wolfie on a dog walk round a field and maybe clear a few stones, whilst talking about it.
To reward/punish listeners this one will go up during this year's perineum on both the stone clearing and the RHLSTP feed. Which means that for the first time you'll be able to listen to stone clearing interrupted by adverts. Which is like sticking pop up ads on the Mona Lisa, but what can be done?
In some ways commercialising art is art in itself. I hope that's how you'll view it.
Or just listen to it on the stone clearing feed where things will remain ad free.
In essence it is a 45 minute prison sentence for people who are not smart enough to have got into stone clearing. Though it's only an aural prison. And it's very easy to escape as it has no bars and an off button.
It's been 10 months since I was last here and this year the crop seems to be weeds, but even though I had basically cleared the field by the time I left, somehow there are millions of stones on there again. The plough, she did come, so that accounts for some of it. But there were some big chunks of stone to be moved and whilst no stone is better than any other, it's always a thrill to find a monster out there on the Ftocean.
It wasn't so hard to get up there and I do find this podcast very relaxing (and it's mainly used to put people to sleep - though the ads will soon wake those snoozy fuckers up) and so maybe in 2026 I will go back to doing it a bit more regularly - like that year that I did it every single day. We're only 16 chapters away from getting to advanced stone clearing techniques, so it would be a shame to stop now.
Literally three people have asked when it will be back in the last 10 months. I can't let down three quarters of my fans.
Anyway, the Ftone Ftafi have relaxed their patrols and it was a pretty easy clear - it's worth remembering that you can lull them into a falfe fenfe of fecurity by seemingly disappearing for a few months. Yet balance that with the mental ftability that you will get from a daily stone clear.
Life is all about balance.
Work, kids, stone clearing. It's very hard to manage all three, but obviously stone clearing is the most important. That work will last for millennia and never call you a smelly butt or sack you for being incompetent.
Liften to ye ftonef my friend.
If you need to catch up with the previous 183 episodes (184 including the Fummertime Fpecial) or want to liften without ads on the 29th,
then head here.Sadly the many chapters I recorded during lockdown were not faved for pofterity, so only my true acolytes will have heard those.
I'm also hoping to do a New Year's Eve Twitch of Fun but might have to record it in advance like the Hootenanny because many of the puppets have lucrative corporate gigs on the 31st.
It's a shame that I can't do more of these stupid projects, so fingers crossed that we'll get another lockdown in 2026 so I can do some more snooker tournaments and puppet shows.
It was weird being back in our old village. I popped to our house as Catie thought a parcel might have been delivered there by accident, but no one was in. They've made a few changes - the front door as been switched so the hinges are on the right instead of the left and they have a different dog than we had. It doesn't feel like we ever lived there now, yet we were there for seven years. Our new place feels so much like home. It's sad to be away from my field and our largely excellent neighbours, but as much as I wasn't sure about the move at the time, we definitely made the right choice. I hope they are using the attic for self-playing snooker podcasts. It was one of the conditions of the sale.
Every change made to a house feels like a criticism, but I still resisted smashing a couple of windows as punishment for not being as cool as us.
Excitingly people have started to receive their kickstarter rewards. Hope you enjoy them!
