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Saturday 7th January 2006

Saturday 7th January 2006

Despite some of you pouring liquidy scorn on my decision to ingest more water than is probably healthy ( Gorilla penis expert Ewan Perry pointed me in the direction of the excellent snopes urban legend site's views on the subject), I stand firm by the power of H2O. In fact this morning in the land between sleep and wakefulness I was given a vision of wisdom that I can only put down to the mystical qualities of water. After all did you know that Nostradamus came up with his extraordinary visions of the future by staring into a bowl of water, which nonetheless never informed him that he would fail to get the fence that he coverted. I am sure that my extrasensory perception came to me as a result of the water cleaning out my predictory pipes and was nothing to do with the bottle and a half of wine I had drunk the night before. And for a second the sentence that appeared in my head made perfect sense, not only of itself, but of everything.
The sentence that was spoken inside my brain, coming from without rather than within was this: "Kenneth Williams is the most important man in history."
Alas once I was properly awake th hidden meaning of this probably cryptic utterance was lost on me, but I am pretty sure that it holds some kind of key to something. Possibly there are some achievements of the Carry on star that have not yet come to light, but that future generations will be aware of (maybe he had some secret physics notebooks with some kind ot theories in them that would make intergalactic space travel possible) or maybe there is a Nostradamus style hidden meaning to this. Possibly it's a different Kenneth Williams who hasn't yet been born or is still too young to have come to public attention. Whatever it is, I did appreciate it for a few brief seconds and I am sure that I am right about this. So I will carry on drinking water, so I will ignore this link left anonymously in my guestbook as well as this dire warning about water consumption left by Alice x - "you can die of hyponatremia (water intoxication) because the normal balance of electrolytes (such as salt & potassium) which play a part in all bodily systems are not being replenished fast enough after all the weeing. It's quite a rare death I think... more common among fraternity pledges. You'd also have to drink gallons apparently... I say drink when you're thirsty!"
Well I say drink all the time and then write down the things that you start thinking in the dead of night thanks to the water poisoning and then look all smug when Kenneth Williams rises from the grave and destroys the world with a death ray that he's got in his eyes.

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