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Friday 11th May 2018
Friday 11th May 2018

Friday 11th May 2018

5645/18665

One of the Atomic Kittens was on my train. Liz. She was in first class too, so she knows the secret about stuffing your face with crisps and beer to make it economical.
I didn’t break Virgin trains and made minimal progress on script 3, but it was great to get home. Catie had Facetimed me on the journey because Phoebe had fallen on her face and was asking for me. So I tried to comfort her snotty face as she just shouted daddy at me. I imagine all the passengers found it nothing but charming. Mummy is definitely the favourite, so it was nice to have this crumb of being needed, even though I wasn’t able to do much.
Phoebe is cool as a cucumber when I return though and betrays no sign of having missed me, though she did give me a long hug later (again unusual) before stopping to tell me that I wasn’t comfy.
The leaps in her abilities and understanding are suddenly huge. Usually her drawing have been scribbles, but she was colouring in a picture of a cartoon horse today and I suggested she try to draw her own and she drew a big circle and told me that was its head and then a tiny circle which was its body. Then she put in eyes, a mouth and a nose and some “hair” and then later remembered about legs and drew two lines.
To prove she was better than I was at drawing I did my best to create my own horse. It had four legs, but Phoebe told me that was too many. I think she’s been watching a pony cartoon where the horses stand on their hind legs. Or maybe I have always just miscounted.
Anyway see if you can judge which drawing is best (and who did which one).
Phoebe wanted her mum at bedtime, but I persisted and got to share the story telling. Just before she went to sleep we had a chat about jokes and how sometimes they could be nasty. She likes to say mildly cruel things to me and then say “I just joking” and I don’t mind. I get it and it doesn’t hurt me (most of the time). But I told her that not everyone would like it and jokes were meant to make people feel happy, not sad. She seemed to take some of it on board and asked me if it was funny to say poo and I told her that I thought it was, but not everyone would agree. It’s great that we can get into mildly philosophical issues already and I know it’s the case that my jokes sometimes make people sad, like the club owners' mum from last night. I’d had a long discussion on Twitter with a nice and reasonable fan on the train home. You have to do your best not to upset people, but it’s hard, of course, because some jokes will make some people angry, whilst helping others. I didn’t get into this with my daughter. But she’s a kind soul (except to me), if a little scatalogically obsessed.
It’s only taken 3 and a quarter years, but all the work put into parenting is starting to pay some mild dividends. Or finally for about two minutes in each day, I have some actual use.

Sent out a bonus newsletter today about the Bargain books available at gofasterstripe FOR ONE WEEK ONLY. I don’t think they’re all getting through to everyone, for some reason. So you can read it here.


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My new stand up show, Oh Frig I'm 50 is at on tour from February til June 2018. There's also a new series of RHLSTP with recordings every Monday from February 5th to April 2nd All details of shows here.
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