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It turns out that the Solero really is the cornerstone of any diet I am on. I fancied that the loss of the Solero every day would mean I lost weight, but without that reliable 98 calorie treat I find myself going for other desserts that are higher calorie and unsatisfying. I am not just in danger of dying from withdrawal, but also from putting on weight. It's worth the damage to myself for the good that £500,000 will do for Scope. Today the total exceeded £6666 which does leave a little way to go, but I understand that a sceptical public is waiting for me to complete this seemingly impossible feat before dipping into their pocket. Still confident that on March 1st we'll hit that target.
Some people might think nearly £7000 isn't bad for not doing something. But those people are fucking idiots who understand nothing. I'd like to see them give up Soleros for four weeks. Oh, suddenly they've gone quiet.
I am currently 2317th in the
justgiving.com leader board (and I think it's very important that there is a league table of charitable people so we can sort the worthwhile ones from the useless ones). To think there are 2316 people better at doing charity than me, someone who has secretly devoted his life to charity, is galling. Again, come March 1st there can be only one king and I think if there's any justice, all the other people raising money should be forced to give it to me. I'd pass at least 5% of that windfall on to Scope.
Sad to see Joseph Coghill beating me by £2. He's always thought he was better than me and this gives him real bragging rights, for this week at least. He has chosen not to use those bragging rights or acknowledge my existence, but he knows that makes his victory all the sweeter. What must it be like to be 2316th? I can only imagine. And I imagine it's amazing.
David Frew on Bluesky suggested that Joseph is being sponsored to eat a Solero every day. I don't know if that is true, but let's assume it is. That's not a challenge. That's the easiest thing in the world. Don't let this guy beat me.
At least Duncan Coote must be feeling pretty small with his pathetic total, one whole pound less than mine. Eat it Coote. I have the bragging rights and I am not the kind of prick who refuses to use them. 2318th. That's just sad.
Anyway, I broke a new year resolution today as I had my first bread of the year (apart from a puri I ate at Dishoom) as I had toast for my dinner. It was incredibly, unbelievably delicious, but I wouldn't have eaten it if a Solero had been on offer. After having a couple of meals that Catie has cooked for visiting friends my weight is basically up to where I was at the start of the year, which seems cruel after I have been so good and given up everything that is remotely fun. When will I accept that I am what I am?
I had thought that maybe I'd give up Soleros forever if I managed it for 28 days and it would be like me giving up drink for a bit and then apparently never drinking again. But I need Soleros. I miss Soleros. No Soleros may kill me. But at least in death I shall hit my half a million target. Imagine how embarrassing it will be if I die and the total stays where it is as a nation fails to mourn.
