Flipping heck, Tucker!
The doodle I did for National Doodle Day is currently standing at £102 in the auction. That is incredible. It only took me about two minutes to draw. I think it's time to give up the comedy lark and move into art. I could knock off at least 30 doodles of this quality in 60 minutes, so should be on an hourly rate of about £3000. That's a cool £24,000 a day for an eight hour shift. I have given the first one away for charity, but from now on it's all for me (I might even give one extra doodle a week away for the disadvantaged, but I should still be turning over about £125,000 a week, so think I can cope with the loss of earnings. I never knew I had this in me. I will probably pay for all meals and services with a quick doodle now, like I believe Picasso did in his later years. Why not? If you have a talent, the you should exploit it.
Of course there is still a little time to go in the auction, so my earnings might be even higher. Do give more if you want to encourage me to embark on this change of career.
Apparently I am currently
13th in the chart of the highest earning doodles and (Christopher Ecclestone excepted perhaps, definitely the shittest drawing that high up, whichis some kind of achievement. But get me in the top 10 someone. All the money (for the moment) goes to a good cause.
And if my plans as an artist don't work out then I might still be able to become rich, if the person trying to sell
this copy of Talking Cock on ebay proves successful. It's a snip at just £995, though I am concerned potential buyers might be put off by the £5.50 delivery charges. I don't get any money from that particular sale, but if they achieve their reasonable lowest limit then I can start selling the copies of the book I have at home.
No bids so far, but there's days to go yet and I am sure it will go crazy at the end. And the seller is really going all out to convince you to buy the book describing it as "quite funny". Imagine how much it would be worth it was full price.
Before you dash to the website to buy that copy though I should point out that there is a chance that there might be a limited reprint of the book in the future, or at least a Kindle version. And I think the RRP might be under £900, so perhaps best to wait.
And happy to hear that Liam Gallagher has answered the question I posed for him on my
own XFM interview a few weeks ago. Charmingly he enters into the spirit of my cheeky poser. You can hear his answer
here.
And lovely to be back at the West End Centre in Aldershot tonight. I've had a few memorable gigs here, but there were no near fights or right wing hecklers in tonight and my brain felt a lot less jet-lagged tonight. Lovely Jules, who works here and has done ever since I have been coming here, reminded me that I had brought the original version of Christ on a Bike to this theatre back in 2002. I think I have been back most years since then and Jules has always been here. It's rare to have a constant in touring, both in terms of venue and staff and it always cheers me up to see her (as well as the rest of the West End Centre crew). Cheerful and friendly theatre staff really do make all the difference. They are, alas surprisingly rare. My favourite adlib of the night was when I said, "If there are any loose women in the audience tonight.... and let's face it there must be. We are in Aldershot." That could easily be a cheap gag that I could do anywhere. But I won't do it anywhere else. That one is just for you Aldershit.
