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First the big news! We're doing a kickstarter to cover the costs of filming Can I Have My Ball Back? It's really just a way to sell it up front so we know how many DVDs to print (and this will be pretty much the only way to get a DVD of this show), but there are also loads of cool rewards, like Right Bollock Boxer Shorts, video messages and Right Bollock's autobiography (I may regret putting that in as a reward). If we don't hit the target then it doesn't happen (and you don't get charged), but if it does then there will be a permanent record of this remarkable show!
If you can't get to the tour, then here's your chance to see what the fuss (that mainly I am making) is all about. And if you appreciate the free content then backing a kickstarter of coming to a show is a great way to pay us back!
To Norwich today, where I've already been with Can I Have My Ball Back? last July, but I managed to get more than 200 more mustard eating Norwich folk in tonight, which I am very pleased with. Always a great audience and it was another really rocking show. As the second half began I remembered a joke (that wasn't due for another 30 minutes) that I'd completely forgotten to do on this leg of the tour. I then had to remember to put it in when the right time came. But it was weird to have it fly into my brain when I was talking about something else entirely (well still my bollock, which is basically all the show is about, but even so...).
As I talked about my funny, sarcastic daughter I noted that it's almost exactly 10 years to the day since
she first appeared on stage at this very venue. Norwich has many special places in my heart, but this was a lovely night. Though I did later come close to knocking my money tin off a cabinet in the hotel and had I not caught it it would have smashed down on Phoebe's head, so mixed memories. I often think of the what if about that one. Sliding Money Tins. Thankfully Phoebe's head remains intact.
We'd got to Norwich early and I headed off for a coffee and to play online poker. As I sat mainly losing today, I thought that I could utilise this couple of hours to do some actual work for a fucking change (I acknowledge that I do do quite a lot of work, but it's ages since I've attempted any writing... I know this is writing now, but other writing than this writing). I had a crack at writing a proposal for an idea that's been knocking around in my head since 2010, but which seems even more relevant in today's fucked up world. I am not entirely sure if it's great or if it's too obvious, but I thought I'd send it to the man I had a meeting with last week to see what he thought. These days it's quite rare to get gripped and excited by an idea and this one hasn't been so insistent to come out that it's woken me up at night and forced me to find a pen, but when I came to write down some of the things I'd been thinking about, it did seem to be quite well formed already.
I tweeted "Wrote up a treatment for a comedy drama in Caffè Nero. If it’s as big as Harry Potter people will come to look at this table! Every treatment could change my life or just go on the huge rejected treatment pile! Which could change my life if it falls on me."
As you'll know if you've been reading my unproduced scripts on Substack, I've had way more failures than successes in my career (though have been lucky enough to usually at least get paid for the ideas that end up getting nowhere). When you have a new idea or give an idea in, it really has the potential to be life changing. What if this one gets made? What if it's a hit? What if I can then get to write anything I like and people will make it?
Old age makes these questions a bit less fizzy than they used to be, but they still have the potential to stir and excite. What if this idea is as good as I think it might be and not as shit and obvious as I also think it might be? The runway for my writing career to take off (in the way I had once hoped) is getting shorter, but if I can stay alive for 30 more years and my brain stops turning into sludge, then I might be able to get some decent work out before I snuff it.
If you throw enough shit at the wall, some of it will stick. That's what I want on my grave stone (the quote, not the faeces). All I have is my persistence and it's served me OK so far. When no one wanted to employ me, I just made up my own job and somehow it's just about working out. Getting the stuff made is the real task and what happens to it after that is out of your hands. Be nice if this new script gets somewhere. And I still favour hope over experience. So let's say it will.
Also you can get advanced notice of a question that I've sent in (on video) to my favourite podcast "The Rest is Entertainment". I don't know if Richard and Marina will be able to answer it (or if they will even answer it), but if anyone knows the answer it is them.
