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Is my son a psychopath? It's a question that every parent must surely ask of their kids at some point, because kids say the scariest shit (that should have been the TV show) and very much see themselves as the centre of the Universe. Most of them grow out of that once life has battered them down a bit, but a few manage to hang on to those feelings and then become President of the United States.
Ernie is a sweet and sensitive boy, always happy to share his sweets, keen to make friends and loves to make people laugh, but he also wanted several guns and a money-printing machine for Christmas and is very keen to possess as much money as possible without spending any of it (though I took both kids to the shops today and they bought stuff with their own money which was a momentous day).
Also I found this picture he drew on a piece of paper that he got from school. It shows what looks like a family from behind, looking towards the blank page, inviting the student to use their imagination to draw a picture of what he or she imagines they are looking at.
Ernie, it turned out, decided that he would do a self-portrait and what he has drawn is himself at the top of a building (I am guessing). He is flanked by two agents wearing sunglasses and holding guns and two more guards stand at the bottom of the tower. Ernie has himself saying "Heol or els!" which translates as "Hail or else!"
He has decided that the people are looking at him on some kind of balcony, ordering them to worship him or else... what? His gun-toting sidekicks will kill you?
That was at least ambiguous the first time I saw the picture, but subsequently the woman and child that are observing them have red spots on their heads and something red trickling down their backs. When I asked Ernie to explain what that was, he coldly remarked that they didn't hail him. It's not really up to question what standing up against this tyrant will lead to. Did the other figure kowtow or has he too been shot in the head, but we can't see the wound?
Should I be worried that I have a tiny Hitler living in my house? Or am I fairly safe because his big sister is a slightly bigger Hitler and will probably overthrow him.
Obviously if Ernie goes on to be a serial killer/despot of some kind this blog will provide valuable evidence for his biographers, but I think (at least I hope) that this is fairly standard behaviour for a seven year old. I know my parents were clearly concerned that I whiled away long hours playing war with those tiny world war 2 figures we all had as toys in the 70s (more worryingly I liked to play with them when my dad was having a bonfire and would basically napalm forces with molten plastic dripping on them from above (I think it was nearly always the Nazis who were getting this treatment though and let's face it those guys deserved it. Thank God they'll never be back)
I haven't (yet) turned into a gun-toting murderer or raving army general. If you had read "The Four Men Have A Fiht With the Men of Phise" (
if you haven't head here) you will know that I too was creating quite bloodthirsty work as a child. Yet I haven't even fought a single Man of Phise in my life (I believe the Men of Phise were the Pharisees - the enemies of Jesus, who I believed in and supported back then and I think you will agree that like the Nazis, those guys had what was coming to them).
Maybe if adults were encouraged to express their feelings through art and literature like this we'd actually stop more violence. Who knows? I don't think I need to worry about Ernie. But man, taking that little girl out like that is pretty cold. You can be sure that I will be hailing Ernie every day now, just in case. And I'd advise you to do the same.
