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Into London Town early this morning to meet up with Chris Evans (not that one) to record an extra for the Oh Frig I’m 50! DVD about my confrontation with the postman that led to the final routine in the show.
The drive in was complicated. We got stuck in a traffic jam in north London for about 15 minutes. I couldn’t work out what was causing the delay and couldn’t see up the road. Mainly we were standing still, but at one point we moved forwards about thirty metres and then stopped again. Other cars were turning around. From my satnav I felt that if I could take the next right then I would be able to get round it, but I needed to drive a small distance on the wrong side of the road. Mysteriously cars weren’t really coming in the other direction either. Just as I approached what I thought was the road loads of vehicles were suddenly approaching, so I pulled into a parking space, but was still in the way, so took what I thought was the turning, but was a nursery school car park. At least I was out of the way.
I turned around, intending to go back the way that that oncoming traffic was heading, but that was now at a halt too. I could see however, that the hold up had been caused by temporary traffic lights and even though it was now green the way I’d originally been heading, the road was blocked by the cars going in the other direction. This is why no one was moving.
The cars got through just as the lights turned red again, but not unreasonably a few of the cars that had been held up went through the light. I couldn’t turn left as I had intended as that way was now blocked by a bus, but as the next car in the queue right hesitated I realised I could push in and get on my way. I had not intended to cheat the system and would have been furious with me had I been one of the drivers I’d overtaken, but sometimes you have to ride your luck.
Beyond the jam the streets seemed eerily empty and we were making good progress, but as we approached a junction I could see the lights of an ambulance. And then in the road in front of us a motorbike on its side with some clear though minor signs of damage. The rider was presumably in the ambulance. It felt like we were in a dream. But hopefully as the ambulance wasn’t rushing anywhere, it was not too serious an accident. London is a terrifying place.
The filming with Chris went well. It was interesting to be back in the Bush and to go and visit our old house (from the outside). It looks much the same, though the new people there have put a plant in the front window. We trudged through the streets where I lived and I showed a mainly unimpressed Chris Evans (still not that one) where I had had to take my packages and how far away the Post Office was. He didn’t seem to think it was that far and asked me why I hadn’t driven it anyway. He understands so little of our sophisticated London ways. The people of the Bush were vaguely interested in why I was being filmed. “You better not be filming me,†one angry lady shouted. “Don’t worry we aren’t†Chris told her, “I fucking better not be on that,†she bellowed (as unlikely as it was that she would have been). “Well you are now,†I informed her as at least her voice would be picked up.
“I don’t fucking care,†she responded. How I have missed the madness of the city.
On the way back a woman asked me for spare change and then saw the camera and asked what we were filming. I tried to tell her it was nothing that she would have heard of and was of no importance . But she didn’t want to be patronised and insisted. When I told her it was for the extras for the Oh Frig I’m 50 DVD she kept on repeating the title as if it was nonsense. I told her I had told her.
She tried to pitch herself as a singer, writer. Performer and broadcaster, as much as I told her that pretty much nobody would see this piece. To be fair she did a better job of interviewing me than Chris had done. I gave her the change I had in my pocket. At least someone will make some money from this DVD.
