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Wednesday 20th May 2020


A bit under the weather this week and after another pretty good day’s writing I was properly exhausted. I was glad I’d made the decision not to do a RHLSTP tonight. I don’t know if it’s the lock down or the difficulty of concentrating on work that comes with it or if this is the first signs of a new super deadly version of Corona. I think we can all agree that these last couple of months have been a bit of a slog.
But I’ve heard from a few writers that this isn’t, as you might expect, a great time to knuckle down and get stuff done. The world has turned to sludge and it’s hard to sit down and concentrate after you’ve waded through it. Maybe if there wasn’t the added pressure of keeping the kids happy, but my wife has been taking the brunt of that this week, so I can’t really claim it’s too much to do with that. 
Phoebe was very excited about the “penny” (it was a fucking pound) that the Tooth Fairy gave her and thrilled to have a story to tell and retell about losing the tooth and waking up to find the magical being had gone. She regretted now leaving a note and a present and selected a soft toy to give to the tooth fairy next time she visits.  Sweet. I put the tiny sliver of tooth and the daisy in an envelope and put it away somewhere safe. One day my daughter will find it and wonder a) why I lied to her about the tooth fairy and b) what kind of weirdo keeps teeth as a memento. Only a serial killer or a warlord or a parent.
I am sure I felt a similar tingle of what the fuck when I found an old tooth amongst my parents knick knacks and to be fair, I still think it’s weird. But throwing it away is weirder and it’s a symbol of a very important moment in you child’s life. I guess if you keep all of them and try and reconstruct them into a working model of your child with terrifying real dead teeth in it then you might have to worry. 
If I get a chance to chance across it in 20 years time, I am sure I will marvel that anything so my daughter could ever have had teeth that tiny. I hope the daisy survives in some form too. It’s such a nice touch and I hope that and the soft toy donation show that she has a good heart.
And I will be back BANG to the moment that a flower fell from her hair at night-time, after an idyllic day of playing in the garden (with her mum and brother) during a time of torpor and horror. And her snap decision to give it to the Tooth Fairy, who hardly ever get tipped for their work, especially at the moment where everyone is keeping their distance.I know that that memory will be absolutely cemented, even if I haven’t thought about it for years.
It’s these moments of humanity that will stick with us I am sure.

So no, it’s not weird to keep your kids teeth. 
Maybe it’s not even that weird for serial killers. They are probably getting the same thing out of it. It’s not the worst thing they’ll ever do, let’s face it.

RHLSTP with Aisling Bea (the last one in front of an audience for the foreseeable future) is now up on audio 
And on video 

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