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Friday 24th July 2020

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Out on a couple of solo parenting adventures today (some may call me a hero for looking after my own kids for one day, but I don’t think hero is the right word. It’s more impressive than that). We drove to a big park to have a scoot round the lake and risk the playground, though with the kids scooting far ahead of me, my main worry was that paedophiles would be emerging from their burrows to kidnap kids or that Ernie might scoot into the lake. All was fine. Then in the afternoon went for a long nature walk to pick up interesting leaves and feathers to use in making art. I thought the kids would get tired and lose interest, but they were pulling up weeds and picking flowers and stones for two hours. Parenting is so much easier when you’re allowed outside and can all leave your screens behind. 
My daughter found a great bit of bark which was rough on the outside and smooth inside, but with a little whirl of an oval shape that made it look like crafted art. If you’re stopping to look at everything it’s amazing what you will find. It’s lovely to be reminded of the variety that exists just outside your doorstep.
What's nicer is that my kids very happily spent all this time in my company and enjoyed themselves. My daughter always professes to not like me when when her mum is around, but has fun with me when she's not trying to look cool in front of her favoured parent. Having got my work done on the book and everyone being happy with it, this was a lovely day of freedom.

Tonight we did an online murder mystery night with our remote games night friends. I had been slightly dreading it, fearing it might be embarrassing. For someone who makes a living showing off and making an idiot of myself I have a surprisingly low tolerance for this sort of thing. But everyone jumped in with both feet and it was fun.
It's this one if you want to have a crack at it. It was set in the month of my birth and had a DVD to guide you through. The greatest crime was the disconcerting and off Austin Powers rip-off character who took the lead. He did for Mike Myers what Fat Bastard did for Scotland. It actually made me feel a bit sick to see someone giving this a whole-hearted go. It turns out Mike Myers is very skilled. 
Plus Michael Winner made a surprise appearance (in the DVD rather than the Zoom), playing the murder victim. A great to surprise to see him back from the dead. And then dead again. That’s method acting for you.
I was playing a cockney gangster, a role I inhabited with my usual expertise at pinpointing accents. I won’t tell you if I did it or not in case you end up playing the game. I was too drunk to really be paying attention to what was going on, or to predict who the killer was (even if it was me). It didn’t really matter.

Relativity episode 2 went out this morning. Some quite racy ideas for Radio 4 at 11.30am. You can listen here.


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