A busy evening of talking about current events for various audio media. First up I headed to the Drill Hall for an appearance on
"Clive Anderson's Chat Room" which will be on Radio 2 at 1.30pm on Saturday. I was on with the lovely Meera Syal, the not so lovely Kelvin MacKenzie and the politician (and you know what I think of them) and former
"A Stab in the Dark" (one of Stew and mine's first paid writing jobs) host, Michael Gove. It was a slightly stilted affair I thought, but I think when it is edited down that it will sound fine. I made a couple of good points and got a couple of laughs, but the audience were not too responsive. And when it came to the questions we saw that there were at least a few strange people amongst their number. There was one particularly verbose German questioner who I initially thought was some student doing a funny character, but who turned out to ask a perceptive (if long) question. I certainly did a lot better on it than I did on
The News Quiz in the same room, some five years ago (was it really that long? Jeez). And the mixture of panellists gave it an interesting feel. Kelvin Mackenzie only got really objectionable when talking about the homeless. I managed to blather my way through most subjects, but it was nowhere near as much fun as my weekly news analysis with Andrew Collings.
Talking of which, immediately after finishing my paid job I was bundled into a cab and taken to the rather lovely
Cross Kings pub to record our second live in front of an audience podcast. This was part of a charity evening in support of
No Sweat which is trying to sweat shops, though amusingly we argued that it was trying to wipe out sweat and also trying to close down sweet shops. Alas Collings the bumbling idiot accidentally stopped the recording around this point, so you miss the bit where I said that kids shouldn't run sweet shops as they eat all the profits. I also revealed I was wearing Converse trainers, who have a bad record on this issue and when I was greeted with boos I shouted that if it was good enough for Dr Who it was good enough for me! Then I spotted what the drunken Collings had done - we'd both had a couple of drinks beforehand (the first time we've been stimulated by alcohol for the podcast) and I had a couple more during. Don't worry we won't do it again! It added to the general shambolic atmosphere. It was a bit harder than the first live podcast, partly due to our slight inebriation, and partly because of the audience's slight inebriation, but also because although there were a large proportion of poddie fans in, there was a significant minority of others who thought they would be seeing a stand up show, rather than two men in their forties sitting down and talking rubbish. But given these issues I think it worked out pretty well. We got a couple of hecklers, who weren't particularly good, but whom I was probably a bit too harsh with. Andrew Collings probably went on with the sweat joke a bit too long. But we did lots of funny stuff too, I think, though I did make a scurrilous accusation about one of Britain's most loved stars, which my colleague unilaterally decided was too hot for the podcast and which he expurgated overnight, without asking me, like some kind of Stalin. But he was probably right and you can't go around calling people gay, even if that's what they definitely are.
That's how these things begin though. Next week I wouldn't be surprised if he edits out everything I say and makes it look like the podcast has always just been his and his alone. And I turn up with an ice pick in my head.
It was a bit of a struggle trying to keep the audience engaged and I didn't enjoy it as much as usual, partly because I was concerned it might fall off the rails (though I seemed to do my best to facilitate such a disaster), but I'd be well up for doing more of these if we can find a good venue, with an audience of people who know what to expect and if we aren't drinking. It was fun to do a drunken one for once, but it's quite a hard thing to keep talking for that long, which you can sometimes do pissed if you're working from a script, but we need to keep our wits about us.
I think it was still as funny without being edited (apart from by Andrew Stalin) as the Chatroom will be after significant chopping. And what amazes me is that even though I was shooting my mouth off a bit, I did manage to prevent myself from saying several much more damaging, libellous and personal things. So perhaps the secret is to get MORE drunk.
We got through it and you can judge for yourself how good it was
by clicking on here. Plus you can try and guess what who I outed, only to have Collings push him back into the closet. And then jump in after him. Because Andrew Collings is also gay. As gay as your hat. Let's see if he sues me. My guess is that he won't. You know why? Because you can't sue someone for telling the truth. If he doesn't sue me then we'll have to assume that that is why.
Thanks to those of you who made it down. I had a fun time drinking much more than I should have after we'd finished and the feedback was pretty good. I recommend the pub if you're in the King's Cross area and feeling thirsty!
