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Friday 26th February 2021

6663/19583
I ordered a pack of jock straps to add support to my depleted scrotum and they arrived today. I’d ordered XL but they delivered XXL, presumably because they decided my junk was still too big for such a puny pouch, even with a bit hacked out of  it. They were right. They were a good fit.
But also there was a packet of tiny ankle socks that I hadn’t ordered and a pack of Despicable Me stickers. Which is maybe the weirdest free gift to received with some groinal supports. Chuck him in some tiny socks and some stickers too, mate. C’mon, everyone loves Despicable Me.
Or maybe they’d heard I’d had a ball off and just thought this would cheer me up.
I mentioned it on Twitter and asked "What’s the most unusual free/mistaken item you’ve been sent in an online delivery?”(a pretty decent new emergency question) and got hundreds of responses. Mostly of incorrectly delivered things, many of which were quite wide of the mark.
I’ve had a few more official gifts to help me through recuperation, including flowers (my friend sent me an orchid to replace the one I had lost and said she hoped I’d be alive to see it bloom - classy) and food hampers. My bed is full of crumbs. I’ve been for a couple of jaunts downstairs, but have basically been living the life of a Charlie Bucket grandparent for the last three days.
I am pretty confident that I will be fit to do RHLSTP on Wednesday and started listening to Packerlackadackdack’s audiobook today and learned about his childhood. Hearing about the unpleasantness of boarding schools makes me feel a bit sorry for the public school boys who dominate our lives, but who were seemingly rejected by their families at an early age. They’re the last people who should be ruling the country. Of course they’re going to hate humanity and have no interest in helping anyone else.
I half-watched a couple of episodes of the Muppet Show. I hadn’t heard of any of the once famous guests. They could not have guessed the Muppet Show would be the job which might keep their memory going the longest. Showbiz is weird.
My wife continues to be amazing and is really looking after me. All your kind comments and unkind jokes are appreciated. This has been as pleasant experience as it could possibly be.


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