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Last year my wife got me one of those DNA analysis things for Christmas. Perhaps I wrote about it at the time, but I can’t find the entry if I did. Basically the results were a bit disappointing for me as I’d hoped to be 25% Neanderthal or at least to have come from somewhere exotic (I have been told that I have very Asian hair and my grandad said that the flat bit he and I have at the back of our skulls was another indicator of Asian heritage - he might have been taking the piss though, he tricked me quite a few times with nonsense). So I was sad to discover I was 96.5% from the UK (according to this website anyway and I am aware the data is controversial and probably meaningless).
The break down was 28.6% Yorkshire, 25.9% south east England (that was a surprise) and then a bit of West Country and Scotland and Northern Ireland with 1.2% Ireland and 2.3% North Italy. I could Brexit completely if I chopped off a foot.
In a way wasn’t that what Brexit was anyway.
But today I got an email saying they had updated figures and once I’d clicked on the email and it had done its calculating some totally new and quite different results.
I was now 100% from the UK, having lost that slightly tantalising 1/50th of myself that was Italian and even my little bit of Irish,
I am now 22.6% N Ireland/SW Scotland, 21% S/N Yorks, 13.7 south central England, 10% Devon and then some more English/Scots counties for the rest. In fact a bit from Aberdeenshire means that I am a quarter Scottish/Northern Irish. That’s my biggest bit. I could be a quarter Scotch.
The site also revealed that I have a potential 3rd cousin also on the site - who would share two great-great grandparents with me. So we would have one eighth of the same DNA. Which is actually quite a lot. Thank God I found this out before I met and married him.
And I cut that foot off for no reason. I am a pure UK citizen and a poster boy for Brexit.
My grandma was Welsh so amazed to see 0% from Wales. My grandad’s family (Hannan) from Ireland, but only N Ireland according to this. At least I have nothing from the Midlands or East Anglia, so some call for celebration.
It’s probably entirely nonsense and next year I will get an email telling me I am 55% alien or the new Jesus. But fascinating nonetheless. My family (or maybe they aren’t) don’t seem to come from the places I thought they did (or just a quarter of me does) and there’s a broad sweep across Southern England, right down into Cornwall. Although I was brought up in Cheddar I had no known family connection with the South West. Perhaps my real dad was one of the Wurzels.
Interesting to speculate about all this, but had hoped to be a lot more cosmopolitan. But when the racial tests come in for citizenship I will be laughing and happily man the prison gates for the rest of you non-100% British scum.
My Roast Battle with Sara Barron went out tonight on Comedy Central and should be available on your catch up services. I was recording a TV show today and am doing a different one tomorrow. From this two day sample we can extrapolate that I am the most successful entertainer in the country. And good to see that Brexit is working so fast and at last white middle-aged men are getting the breaks that they deserve.
