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Would it be fourth time lucky on Pointless Celebrities?
What do you think? Obviously I can’t say. But as there are only four teams, the law of averages says you should surely win one in four. The law (of averages) is an ass. It all depends on your partner.
This time I was teamed up with lovely Les Dennis. This was his third attempt to win (he’s got to the head to head on his previous two goes), so between us we’d have been on Pointless Celebrities seven times. Imagine the shame of neither of us having a trophy after that many goes.
It was a little surreal to be playing anti-Family Fortunes with the ex-host of Family Fortunes. I had hoped there would be an opportunity for me to say “If it’s up there I’ll give you the money myself.†Though I was also hoping not to get that opportunity, as it would probably mean we were about to crash out.
I worried that being at the intersection of Pointless and Family Fortunes might create a rift in the fabric of the Universe that would destroy us all. As I said, I can give no spoilers.
Les was as keen to win as I was and he’s a big fan of the show. If you’d have told me when I was 12 that one day I’d be attempting to win £2500 for charity with Les Dennis then I would not have believed you. Yet here we were. Sometimes the things that are too crazy even for dreams can still come true.
In the past I have always been able to blame my partner for my Pointless losses. Would Les buck the trend?
I’d say it was probably the toughest opposition I’ve faced on the show (though the comedians special one did have some very high-standard quizzers). We were up against two times Pointless champ, Bonnie Langford who was team with the mildly disengaged, but very smart Arthur Smith; the wonderful Annabel Giles and the competitive Tony Hawks and the tuned-in Melinda Messenger and Diane Louise Jordan. No duffers in there (I was pining for the time when the Osmonds were my opponents) and all keen to win (except maybe Arthur Smith who is too cool to care about stuff like that). For the first time I was not feeling wracked with nerves (at least at the start) and had decided to just enjoy myself and see what happened.
And it was great to be on a team with Les, who I love. His RHLSTP was one of the absolute classics and he is about two celebrate 50 years in show business. When I was a young man I may have been sniffy about his comedy, but he is a fighter and can turn his hand to almost anything and is genuinely a very open and likeable man. He’s weathered some storms and come out the other side and deserves all the success and recognition he is now enjoying.
He was, for example, very gracious when two separate members of the excellent Pointless team came up to him and told him how much they’d loved him in Extras. It’s not a bad thing to be told, but it happened twice in the short time I was with him and might well have happened more times than that just today and he modestly thanked the people who commended him as if they were the only people to point this out. That job was the turnaround point for him of course (along with the Big Brother appearance that probably led to him getting that job) and he is very grateful for it. But some people are not as kind when they are reminded of one particular highlight of their career.
I wanted to win this for Les, more than for myself.
He turned out to be a slightly scarily bold player of the game… I don’t know when you’ll find out if that boldness paid off.
Let’s hope not, because if I ever get a Pointless trophy then I am obviously retiring at the zenith of my career. Osman joked that this was my 14th attempt, but other than that was surprisingly nice to me this time.
Anyway, very happy to do the show again and to hang out with some excellent people. And for once living in Hertfordshire paid off as Elstree is pretty close for me.
With Roast Battle on TV and me recording two different TV shows in two days (I will tell you more about yesterday when the time is right) there would be a danger of looking at this 48 hours and extrapolating that I am the most successful comedian in the country (though Romesh Ranganathan has probably recorded four whole series already this week), but it does feel like things are on a little bit of an upswing again. And I am aware that Pointless Celebrities might not be at the top of everyone’s list as a big deal. But it is very near the top of my list.
