The poacher becomes gameskeeper.
Back down in Hammersmith after another visit to the gym (Surely I am the fittest and thinnest man on the planet after all this exercise) I was walking down the crowded bit of pavement outside Pret a Manger on King Street. A scary looking man on a bike was cycling towards me at some speed, oblivious or uncaring about the many pedestrians around him. I was slightly in his way and he rang his bell and made a grunt at me indicating that I should get out of his way. Instead I moved more into his way and made myself as big as possible (pretty tough when you are as lithe as me) and said "You shouldn't be on the pavement pal!"
he glared at me and managed to negotiate round me, though I impeded his progress, but he carried on cycling. Was this hypocritical of me? Or had I just learned an important lesson yesterday?
To be honest my cycling across a square with no pedestrians in my way is very different to riding fast along a pavement that is thronging with people. I suppose I was most annoyed by his arrogance and impatience. If he was going to cycle on the pavement he could at least acknowledge that pedestrians had the right of way over him, but the fact that he expected us all to jump out the way for him was what led me into this Charles Bronson style vigilante protest. I figured that Community Officer Young would be proud of me for making a stand. Though only afterwards did I consider that the intimidating figure on the bicycle might very well have chosen to run me over or punch me in the face for daring to stand up to him. I had looked round to make sure he wasn't coming for me and saw a middle aged woman beaming at me. She was glad that I had made a stand. I was like an anti-cycling on the pavement superhero to her, protecting those who are too weak to protect themselves. It felt quite good.
I would have felt less of a hypocrite if I hadn't nearly knocked someone down earlier. As I came down Hammersmith Grove and on to the square where I had fought the law yesterday (the law won), I decided that I would get off my bike, having learned my lesson. However, there was traffic waiting at the zebra crossing and rather than holding them up by acting legally and getting off the bike and walking, I decided to whizz across on my bike. A workman was walking on the opposite pavement and though I saw him and slowed down and expected him to see me he was daydreaming and looking at something else and I had to brake sharply. I just missed him and he only saw me as my wheel was practically on his shin. He gave me a filthy look, but he should have been looking where he was going, the idiot!
I found it vaguely ironic that on the one day I had decided to obey the law (almost) I nearly hit someone for the first time in my life.
Still, I made up for it later by mildly inconveniencing someone worse than myself. Clearly I still operate on a double standard, but this is what makes me a human being.
