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Tuesday 30th March 2004

My friend Rebecca is in a show called "Mum's the Word" in Wimbledon and I went along to see her strut her stuff tonight.
It's like a kind of Vagina Monologues of child-birth and motherhood (but with more jokes). I thought it was a bit cheap just to copy the Vagina Monologues and make it about another subject (I am too classy to attempt anything like that), though Rebecca claims this show was written first.
Never having had a child appear from out the end of my genitalia and only having had very limited experience of looking after children (my job mainly being to get them over-excited and full of sweets and then hand them back to their parents when they start puking or defecating), there wasn't all that much for me in the show. But the audience (99% female) seemed to love it and identify with the scenarios.
Out of the shows like this that I've seen (ie Twat Chat and Defending the Caveman) it seemed to be the least stereotypical. In different ways those other two shows pretty much make out that men are complete idiots (or worse).
"Mum's the Word" is certainly dismissive of men in places, but seems to at least acknowledge that women can be pretty difficult to cope with during and after pregnancy. And the authors seem at least fond of the men who have got them up the duff.
I only slightly objected to the impression that was generally given that men are pretty useless when it comes to fatherhood and the universal laughter that lines like "Men are just crap" got from the audience.
It seems to me that there are many great fathers out there who more than do their bit in child-rearing. Some of my male friends are taking the main role in bringing up their babies.
But even if the stereotype of men not being helpful or interested is true then I don't think these jokes are very useful. Women just shake their heads and sigh at male incompetence and any men in the audience (which was pretty much just me) would feel that if that's what everyone else does and if women expect it, then they might as well be like that anyway.
Men are the only group who appear to try to conform to the offensive stereotypes that are created about them. Maybe they are all just useless and selfish and insensitive, but if that's the case then twee jokes aren't going to help. You need to attack them with dirty nappies until they get used to the idea. Don't accept the fact that all men are useless, whether you're a man or a woman.

But then again I was pretty useless when it came to helping out with the dirty jobs when I was with Steph and Paddy. I was keen initially, but my enthusiasm waned quite quickly. Which is strange, because I spend a fair amount of my day dealing with human faeces (my own... mainly), so why should helping a tiny incontinent human be any different?
Maybe one of my tasks should be to spend a week changing nappies at the biggest nursery in the world; much tougher than cleaning out the Augean Stables.
Though it might be tricky explaining that one to the authorities. "I have to clean the bottoms of as many babies as possible. It's for a show."
Maybe not.

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