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Tuesday 4th March 2014

4118/17037

Due to a scheduling mishap Lou Sanders was not available for today's Fubar radio record (her special blend of madness and danger means that sometimes life and calendars are confusing to her and this is the price you pay for trying to harness her into a conventional internet radio based format), so I was joined by Amy Howerska. Before the show I was having trouble remembering the words for things and praying that this is just over work and not early onset Alzheimers. But I think my brain is just learning that it only needs to work when I am working and takes the opportunity to reduce power settings on all other occasions. It probably means I will die by walking into a fan and then carry on walking, but at least it means I can do my job. It was a fun show with great value from guest Seann Walsh and Amy as well. Keep reading to the bottom of the entry to see how you can (hopefully) get the whole radio station for free for a year (whilst stocks last). Don't say I don't ever give you anything.

I was wearing one of the "I Paid A Pound" badges on my coat today. On the tube I passed a not very pregnant-looking woman wearing a "Baby On Board" Badge. This is a great scheme to ensure that women bearing the weight and stress of having a living human being in their stomach (I am not clear on all the details) can get a seat on the tube. Which is helpful if they aren't particularly showing (as in this case) or if you aren't sure if they're pregnant or just fat and don't want to make the embarrassing mistake of offering a non-pregnant woman a seat.

But it got me thinking. Those badges are very powerful and a lot of people obey the badges unquestioningly. I wondered if people with "I Paid A Pound" badges might also be able to get a seat on a crowded bus or train, by attracting the attention of a seated commuter and then tapping the badge. I think it might work. Badges look official and I think they would probably assume that this was some kind of scheme where people who had paid a bit extra were guaranteed a seat. It would look especially good with the golden monthly badges. And it might not only work on transport. You could be stuck in any kind of queue or not being allowed access to a VIP area. Just approach the front with confidence, point at your badge and breeze on through. I didn't put it to the test myself, but I think it could work. If anyone argues with you you can say, "I paid a pound" or "I paid a pound a month for this" and I think they would soon back down. If I was you I'd even give it a go at airport check-ins in the hope of an upgrade, though the power of one pound might not be enough to sway them. Please use the badges for good, not evil though. Do not make a pregnant woman stand up so you can sit down. With great badges comes great responsibility.

These badges not only help me create new internet content, give monthly subscribers access to bonus stuff and make you look very cool to other cool kids, they also turn you into a VIP with special privileges. But only if you're brave enough to front it out. Which I am not. Give it a go though and let me know if you have any success or painful, face-smashed in failure.

We had the night off and went for some Thai food and a movie. We had looked through the listings and wanted to see one of the worthy Oscar winners or nominees, but they were too long or started late and so we ended up going to see Non-Stop with Liam Neeson, which I don't think will win any Oscars or (slight spoiler) affect anyone's views on who was really to blame for 9/11. It was mindless and ridiculous and hack to the extent that you might think that everyone's tongue had bored through their own cheek and burrowed into the cheek of the person next to them and found a home there. It was exactly what I needed though. Liam Neeson is an alcholic ex-cop, now working as a US Federal Air Marshal. He hates flying obviously and is about to give up his job, before he gets embroiled in a hi-jacking of such extraordinary complexity that it could surely only have been orchestrated by God. But it wasn't orchestrated by God. I won't tell you who orchestrated it because trying to guess is the fun part of the movie (I was confidentally saying to my wife, "It's obviously him (or her)" every three minutes about every character).

And what is actually going on is so pathetic and unlikely and insane that it is a massive disappointment. So disappointing and ridiculous that it's actually fucking brilliant. This is no "Die Hard" by any stretch of the imagination and it is terrible. But I still rather liked it. Liam Neeson (and indeed Julianne Moore) are way too good as actors to be in something like this, but the fact that they are in it does lend it a certain cachet. He seems to be mainly doing these insane and preposterous action movies now and you can sometimes forget that he was, for example, Schindler in Schindler's List. I don't know what made him go down this particular alley. I presume it's money. But as much as I wish he wasn't doing it, I am glad that he is. And there are some great bits in this film as well as some subtlety. I very much liked the way that he rebuffed the attentions of the ditzy young woman who fancied him, "You're a bit too young for me", and goes for the more age appropriate Moore.

I can not really tell you if this is a better film that "Twelve Years A Slave" as I haven't seen that yet, but it was definitely the right choice for me tonight.

Want a free year's subscription to Fubar Radio? There's a limited number on offer using special codes. Go to their website sign up and use the code LOUS. There was one for RICHARDH but I think they might be all gone. But if the Lou Sanders ones run out I think I might have given you enough info there to crack the code of how the codes operate. Just take a look at the list of all the other fabulous DJs on the station.

And if you appreciate me saving you £36 for a year's subscription, why not go and donate £1 (or more) a month to fund my future internet enterprises by buying a badge from gofasterstripe. We're already at the stage where I think we could make a video episode of AIOTM every 10 months. If you'd like them to come out more regularly than that, then get on board. And take a seat. On any bus or train in the world* (*conditions apply**). (**the conditions involve other people falling for it).



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My new stand up show, Lord of the Dance Settee will be touring from October 2014 to May 2015 All details here.
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