Warming Up

Thursday 5th December 2002

Sainsbury's nutcase of today.
I was planning to cut through Sainsbury's on my way home, cos it takes about 45 seconds off my journey. As I approached the sliding doors I noticed a woman about 15 feet away who was about to exit.
I noticed her primarily because she was walking very slowly and was holding her walking stick aloft and was waving it from side to side in what I can only describe as a Dalek like gesture.
She was Asian and probably in her 70s or 80s and wearing a thick pair of glasses, the like of which I have only seen on Dick Emery.
Not only was she holding up a queue of perplexed people behind her, she was also blocking my way, so I decided to be gentlemanly (and not to risk being hit with her Dalek laser, or failing that, her walking-stick) and waited to one side of the door.
However when she reached me, even though it would have been much simpler for her to walk past me, she stopped and shouted "Go!"
I said, "No, no, after you."
She screeched "Go! Go! Go!".
So I did, even though it meant crossing in front of her and having to go round.
So much for politeness. The fella-behind-her's face was a picture.
I am sure that you can see by now that most of my time is taken up going to the supermarket, travelling on the tube and watching TV. How could life be any better?