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Monday 6th April 2020


Fucking Hell, the Coronavirus just gets scarier. And it was scary before. Though I think a lot of people are still lulling around with a false sense of security, cos they’re not old or ill……. And then the Prime Minister goes in for “tests” on a Sunday evening (why aren’t they just honest about it?) and then tonight into intensive care.
And whatever you think of Boris Johnson (and I am not exactly a fan) the fact that he can be in such trouble with it, when he seemed relatively fit and has access to whatever doctors and equipment he needs is extremely worrying whether you care about him or not (and if you don’t care about him because you don’t think he cares about other people then you’re just as bad as you imagine him to be). 
It should strike terror into your heart. Because if he can get into this much trouble in spite of commanding constant medical attention, then it could happen to any of us. And yes, I know many other people without complications have died, but I was at the point where I was thinking it might be OK to get the virus and get it out the way.
We knew straight away that there was more to it, because that young  Chinese doctor died and it’s odd that more wasn’t made of these dangers because surely that would have made people take it more seriously.
I found it hard to sleep, worrying about Boris Johnson’s health,  which is not something I ever anticipated. Also of course worried for myself and my family. Which has always been there, but in our little rural idyll I’ve managed to fool myself into thinking we were in a protective bubble. I don’t want to leave these people and I certainly don’t want to lose any of them. But it’s me that is at the most risk (luckily), as a middle aged man. Who’d have thought that would ever act against me? It was meant to make me unbeatable.

We’ve instituted a new childcare policy where instead of one of us doing the morning and the other afternoon, we’re taking alternate days (and having two hours of family time at lunch). I was doing the non-childcare bit today and it was awesome. I got the first draft of my introduction to my new book done which means I am 1/20th of the way to finishing and other bits of admin. My wife seemed a bit frazzled at dinner time. I don’t know why and I shouldn’t think I will find out the answer tomorrow. I have 7 weeks left to do the rest of the book, but it’s short (20,000 words) and so it might be possible. But man alive, single parents - I respected you anyway. But how the fuck you manage two or more of these pricks totally on your own… Especially under the circumstances we’re under now. Lucky that sexcrement gives you occasional moments of pure happiness to make up for it. I love my parents in law, but I have never missed them more than this.

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