It’s been a great week. Since my cathartic and self-harming football experience all negative thoughts have blown away and I’ve been enjoying myself very much. It’s certainly not a typical Edinburgh. I have kept up with the exercise and been eating healthily and drinking in moderation. Unusually I haven’t succumbed to sore throats or over-tiredness or flu (I wonder if there could be some connection to the healthy eating, exercise and moderate alcohol consumption – maybe a scientist should look into that). I haven’t been to see many shows either, but it’s been interesting to concentrate on making my own show as good as possible. It has been over-running and the monkey fucking bit has been getting a mixed reaction, so I decided to take it out tonight and see what difference that made. It was a massive improvement as it meant I didn’t have to rush my way through the other routines and could ad-lib and explore new avenues. Interesting the show ended up just as long as when the routine had been in there, so I had clearly made up quite a few new bits. It was definitely a step in the right direction and you kind of always wish at this stage that some critics would come and see you later down the line because surely the real point of Edinburgh is to work on and improve a show over several performances, rather than coming with something polished and ready to go (though this year was the most polished first performance I’ve done- it is still steadily improving). There was a nice moment tonight when all the lights went out right at the beginning of the Pope bit, which was a little bit spooky. I warned the audience that if I was now struck by lightning that they should definitely start believing in God. I admitted to being slightly scared by this coincidence and tried to tell God that I was only joking. For a few unsettling minutes I had to perform with the house lights up, which meant the audience were totally visible. They seemed to be enjoying themselves though. Then I said “Let there be light” and there was light. I am not saying I am God. But I could take him in a fight.
It’s mainly getting the right kind of crowd now, though a couple of nights ago some middle-aged people walked out just as I said I was glad the Pope died, one of the women shouting I was rubbish, whilst her husband looked like he might hit me and then started complaining to my face. I gave him the microphone and he said, “We came out tonight hoping to be entertained, but we were bitterly disappointed,” – I suddenly realised that by letting him have the microphone I was in a weaker position to respond to his complaints and that in a sense I had handed him my
baton de commandment, but actually I was merely giving him enough microphone flex to hang himself. The audience hissed and booed at this self-righteous display of pomposity and had I had the mic I would have said, “See it’s not so easy is it? I’ve talked for twenty minutes and not got booed once and you’ve only managed one sentence and everyone hates you!” But funnily enough saying nothing was the best response of all – the audience doubly got behind me after this and it was a great show.
I think I maybe passed the woman who had called me rubbish in the street today as she almost backed away when she spotted me and then went by tutting and hissing at me under her breath. I hope it was the same woman as otherwise I just have this effect on strangers. ItÂ’s interesting how a comedy show can provoke such extreme reactions from people. The more I see the odd response and reviews to other shows that I have seen and think are brilliant, the more I realise that itÂ’s actually much better to be provoking these kinds of humourless idiots. As long as everyone isnÂ’t hating it.
I also had a rather weird and typically Edinburgh minor hallucination today. But one with another religious connotation that a weaker minded person might see as a sign. As I was walking down the hill towards my flat I saw what looked like a gigantic black snake (as thick as an arm) weaving around on the path in front of me. It gave me a little jolt as it was supernaturally big and definitely seemed to be moving of its own volition and yet the people around it didnÂ’t seem overly concerned. The confusion only lasted a second though as I got a bit closer and could see that it was fact just a long balloon, presumably dropped by one of the many street clowns who make amusing prophylactic animals for childrenÂ’s delight. On a normal year, fuelled by a cocktail of booze and chocolate I would probably have run into the road to escape this tiny Scottish Beastie, but this year my brain is only mildly insane and I was able to overcome my initial shock by using logic to ascertain that my eyes had sent the wrong signal to my brain. IÂ’m just glad the balloon didnÂ’t try to persuade me to eat an apple. Mind you, IÂ’ve been eating so much fruit this Edinburgh I would probably have politely declined.
