Another lovely appearance on the Andrew Collings' show. Although my dad doesn't really enjoy our "inane" chat (his words not mine), I like it very much. The conversation is very much off the cuff and as such can occasionally go down some dead ends (these are almost my favourite bits though) and sometimes I am hungover and not sure where I am, but it usually goes somewhere interesting as well. If you aren't listening to it weekly (either live or on the listen again feature of the BBC website), then what are you thinking? You're missing a minor treat - not a big treat, but maybe like when your mum unexpectedly gave you a Fredo - who remembers Fredos? ha ha ha, the past- on a Thursday when Friday was actually your sweets day. Those are the best kind of treats in my opinion. By which I mean Fredos, rather than small treats that come unexpectedly in general.
My favourite bit today was when we were discussing a story in the Sunday Mirror which said that animal protestors were furious becase J-Lo (which makes her sound like a sugarless and insipid fruit based drink in my opinion, which isn't too far from th truth) because she was wearing mink eyelashes. I not unreasonably chastised the reporter of the piece for not making it clear whether these were eye lashes fashioned from mink fur, or whether in fact they were actual mink eyelashes which had been pulled out and then stuck to J-Lo's eyelids.
If this was the case, I continued, then I wasn't sure that the animal rights protestors were correct to complain, because it would be possible to extract a mink's eye-lashes without actually killing it.
Andrew felt that plucking the eyelashes out of a mink would still be cruel as the eyelashes prevent gunk and dirt getting into the mink's eyes, but I postulated that it was quite possible that J-Lo had a minion who was paid to keep the eye-lashless mink's eyes clean with a spray of some kind. And if J-Lo also put the mink and its family up in a luxury hotel and fed them mink food for free for the rest of their lives (as I imagine she would), then the loss of your eyelashes is not too large a price to pay. I would happily give J-Lo my eye lashes for a similar deal. I suspect the animal rights people haven't even checked to see if this is the case and J-Lo might be getting an unfair press. If the eyelashes are actually made out of fur (that hasn't been humanly plucked from a living mink) or if the eyelashes or fur have been plucked surreptitiously, then I do not condone her behaviour, but I say until she is proven guilty let us give her the benefit of the doubt.
I began to wonder (off mike) whatever bits of her body J-Lo could harvest from a mink (either living or dead) and wondered if she would ever go so far as to actually wear mink eyes in her own eye sockets. She would get a lot of publicity if she did and doubtless has the money to have her own eyes taken out and mink ones successfully connected up to her optic nerve. What would be good about this is that the mink eyes would not fill her human eye sockets and I think she would look really weird and possibly more beautiful than before. She could overcome the problem by having dozens of mink eyes put in her eye sockets so the sockets became full of eyes. Imagine the newpaper coverage she would get if next time she was at a premiere she had twenty mink eyes peering out at the cameramen.
Though I wouldn't approve of this unless the eyes were taken from minks that had died of natural causes, or, if they were from living mink donors, the mink's who had given up their eyes were given substantial financial reward for their sacrifice. Alternatively their eyes should still be somehow wirelessly connected to their own optic nerves, so that they at least got to see what J-Lo was looking at (provided BT hadn't provided the wireless network)
And I suppose if the mink were a big fan of J-Lo's music and/or films that having their eyes in her actual head would be quite a privilege for them.
In any case this story all seems so unlikely that I am sure it's a misunderstanding. Doubtless J-Lo is really wearing a
monk's eyelashes and someone just misheard her when she announced it. And no matter how cruelly the monk was treated for the diva to get her hands on his treasured eye lash hair I don't think anyone will protest about it when they hear the truth. Partly because most animal rights protestors seem to care more about animals than humans, but mainly because everyone hates fucking monks and to be honest they deserve everything they get.
