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I usually base my politics on just doing the opposite of what Michael Gove and Jeremy Hunt say. So what do I do about Europe? My second round tie-break would be to do the opposite of what David Cameron and Boris Johnson say. Maybe just tot up all the cunts and do the opposite of what the majority say? But apparently the vote is in June. Don't have time to tot up the cunts.
I look forward to our country making a monumentally important decision for all the wrong reasons (on both sides really) and well done to the Labour party for giving the Conservatives the space for civil war and not have to give up power.
It was another day of domestic bliss as, like a disgraced politician, I eschewed work to spend time with my family. My daughter is making me laugh all day long and is almost managing to pay back some of the bad will from the horrendous first year of her life when she was little more than an annoying leech. Plus she’s been sleeping well and thus so have we and that makes a whole world of difference.
We paid in the SCOPE money from Salford (£388.91if you’re interested, thrashed by Leeds this year. Yorkshire is the best - don’t have the Liverpool total as it was too heavy for me to carry on the train, so Giles has it. I won’t always be able to do an individual count up - only if I am paying in daily), but for the second time in a week it fell out of my bag and I spilled coins over the bank floor. I literally have to work for every penny! Even without the Liverpool money you’ve donated an amazing £2237.08 in the other eight gigs this year. Thanks so much.
We then did a big tidy of the house as we had the first viewing for a couple of weeks and the place had got quite messy. Every time I do this I am amazed at how lovely our house looks when everything is put away and I kind of want to stay here. But that’s a nice situation to be in. It isn’t the end of the world if we don’t sell straight away, but if we do, new adventures begin. Maybe all homeowners should have our houses up for sale or rent all the time, so we’re forced into keeping them looking nice. There’s nothing like the disapproving glance of a stranger to shame you into pretending you don’t live like a swamp creature. Believe me, I know. I have given many a disapproving glance in the homes of strangers over the last year. Especially to the family that had a golliwog. And the celebrity chef who had a shelf for his sunglasses. I sort of wish we all had to give honest appraisals of every home we visited that got sent back to the owner. Just because I wonder what people would say about us.
Catie had made some cup cakes and I was roasting a chicken when the person arrived to look round. It looked like the kind of stunt you’d pull to make the place look homely, but we were having a rare homely day and this was all really us. But I reckon the cupcakes might swing it. The house smelled lovely too (again something of a rarity). Surely no one is stupid enough to buy a house because it smells of cupcakes? Actually I think I would. If they promised to throw in some free cupcakes.
That was the promise my wife made if I married her and that’s come good.
Our baby slept and we ate chicken and cupcakes and then played Scrabble, which I won after being unable to play the word Snorkel (the s was a blank) on a packed board, but then spotting I could use an o with nothing impeding it and make “onlooker”. Which you have to admit is a hell of a spot. I mean life doesn’t get any better than this. Except if you can watch a new episode of the Walking Dead afterwards (and then play Addams Family Pinball in bed). I really do have it all. I will never be happier than I was today.
